Marriage Reboot – Turn the “Reality” TV off

A guest blog article by Cain Hernandez (parent, student, world citizen)

For the most part, marriage has always been the pinnacle of any relationship. From a religious point of view, marriage is a blessing and something sacred. When you talk to the older generations they will tell you that when you got married it was forever and you should stick together no matter how tough it got. Some people marry for love, others for a somewhat “business type” relationship, and in some cultures marriages are arranged so you know very little about the other person. The bottom line is that in this day and age marriage is treated as a joke and we need to get back to a place in society where we respect that institution again.

One key reason for this lack of appreciation in an individual’s life for marriage is television and media outlets. So many so called “reality” TV shows now-a-days, like The Bachelor or Married at First Sight, make a mockery of the institution of marriage. They make a “game” out of it, all for the purpose of getting ratings. The idea of most of these types of shows is to see who can get married and usually there is some type of prize money awarded to who ever can “get the bachelor” or “stay married the longest”. Slowly and effectively these types of shows are tearing away at the fabric of our society by catching the attention of younger generations and warping their minds and views of what marriage should really be about. Marriage is an institution that is built on a foundation of love, trust, and commitment.

Another example of this is tabloids and shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians. Again, most of the portrayals of marriage in these examples are done for ratings or selling magazines. Tabloids print stories of scandals in celebrities’ marriages to appeal to the reader because the public craves a juicy story like these and a lot of the times the stories aren’t even real. TMZ does the same thing as the tabloids, digging up dirt and juicy stories that the public wants to hear about regarding celebrity relationships.

The truth is sometimes these media outlets can be the cause of break-ups in relationships.

For instance, in Keeping up with the Kardashians, Kim Kardashian is notorious for bouncing from one marriage to another in a matter of months. Many people believe she does this for ratings on the show. A majority of the time these marriages end for the most insignificant reasons. The sad part about this is that young girls watch these shows and want to grow up to be just like her.

But where is our society headed, when our youth are beginning to emulate these types of role models? Honestly, a lot of unsatisfied marriages due to marrying for possibly the “wrong” reasons, such as a pregnancy, all your friends are getting married, fear that you are running out of time to get married, a celebrity did it, or for money.  For these reasons, and more, there is a lack of respect for the institution of marriage in our society.

We only have to turn on the television or see the tabloid success to understand how an individual’s choice to get married for the wrong reason can possibly have an influence on others and ultimately create a bad image of marriage in society.

This is a seed of change that should not continue to be planted in society.  We need to restore respect and appreciation in the beauty of marriage – even if it isn’t an easy undertaking to be a part of.  Honestly, we need to teach our youth that the images and stories we see and hear about on TV, in regards to marriage, are not reality.

Or maybe, we just need to turn the “reality” TV off.

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54 thoughts on “Marriage Reboot – Turn the “Reality” TV off

  1. When I was little I imagined marriage to be something sacred. I would go to my brothers soccer games with my family and meet other families there. All these families were happily married with a bunch of other kids, the perfect home, and the perfect life. Just the average perfect suburban family is what I would say. As I got older and was exposed to media, tabloids, and reality TV, my image of marriage honesty did change, not to mention my parents splitting up. However, my image of marriage shifted from; two people that are absolute soulmates, to just any two random people that met in the right place at the right time. In my younger teen years I thought nothing of a divorce, I figured everyone goes through it so why do people stress about “finding the right match” if we can have multiple tries at it. It’s sad to say that I too am guilty, that my younger, little girl mind was sabotaged by media’s representation, rather than the representation a marriage should hold. Today I understand the meaning of marriage, its not scary to think about when you have someone so secure in your life, but it would be good to stop society’s portrayal of marriage before our youth decides to grow up familiar with the divorce court.

  2. I agree with this article because nowadays people tend to disrespect the sanctity of marriage as if it is no big deal. It seems as though people are getting married to compete with friends, and even reality television stars, on who can have the best, most expensive wedding. I fully believe in the old fashioned importance of marriage and I feel it should not be used for show or competition. Marriage is meant to last and I believe that married couples should try to work out their issues instead of giving up (except in abusive cases or similar). Although some reality love shows are entertaining, I agree that they should not be taken seriously as they make marriage look like a game.

    1. I also believe in the old fashion importance of marriage. My Grandparents grew up without social media and reality TV shows, so they were not exposed to the media’s degrading view of marriage. As a result, their concept of marriage was shaped by their family who taught them marriage was sacred and should be highly valued. They have been married for over thirty years because they are truly in love and if they did not value marriage, they would have got a divorce a long time ago.

  3. Cain –

    I totally and completely agree with your statement that “marriage is treated at a joke.” It’s laughable, it truly is. People think that hey, if things don’t work out I’ll just get a divorce, no big deal. Well that has affects on their social status and stigma, their governmental benefits (or, after the divorce, lack there of), their taxes, and OUR taxes. Not to mention the social stigma that surrounds being a divorced person. It shows lack of commitment and a sense that they just gave up and weren’t willing to try and work things out and, to me, could quite possible be a deal breaker. If they’re so nonchalant about getting a divorce, could that happen to me to?

    You’re right: marriage has become a complete force and the media attention following it and social interactions (whether they be supportive or otherwise) puts a lot of pressure on the couple to exhibit a “perfect” marriage which, for nearly all marriages, there exists no such thing. TV shows and magazines hyping this sort of behavior is strictly driven by greed and the hopes of having the most views ever or sell millions of copies of their publication. They couldn’t give two shizz’s about the people discussed (or rather put under a microscope) in their publications and are strictly putting crap out there for profits. It’s sad, it really is. Marriage is not sanctimonious; it’s laughable travesty.

    I agree with you and I also feel like the main reason that marriage has become so antiquated these days is because of our disgusting obsession with pop culture and the media. “Oh my gosh, did you her about Beyoncé and jay-Z? Did you see last night’s episode of The Kardashians?!” Please. Is this what truly matters in this world? How about our economic crises? On the macro level: Health care, over seas oil deals, the impending upcoming cold war with Russia, foreign relations, etc. Micro: unstable family life at home, violence, legal repercussions, and, if you throw children into the mix, detrimental issues with their education, possibility of drug use and living in poverty, etc.

    Turning off the TV and picking up a freaking newspaper would be like a huge culture show to people because they’d see what’s really going on in the world and not just in this fantasy bubble of overly-publicized jokes of human beings.

    You’re right, what are we teaching our kids to model their life’s after? Kim K? She had a mental breakdown once when she lost her $10,000 diamond earring in the ocean while on a multi-million dollar vacation with the family in Greece. Like…what? It’s not like she couldn’t afford another either but why exactly do you need $10,000 earrings? How about skip the ear bling and feed an ENITRE village in a third world country for an ENTIRE YEAR. Greed, gluttony and fame have certain led to the downfall of the inviolability of marriage. Too sad, let’s get back to the basics!

    Great article! I agree with all your points and your discussion was very well said and articulate. You’re a great writer.

  4. I completely agree that pop culture and reality T.V. promote the wrong perception of marriage and sort of create a mockery of it. Celebrities these days get married for such a short period of time and then get a divorce. For example: Kim Kardashian. Her marriage was made up to be so glamorous and special with her now ex-husband Kris Humphries. They aired the wedding on E! and showed the couple on vacation together being so “romantic,” yet there marriage lasted 72 days. They got divorced just after 72 days. Tell me if she is setting a great example for the young generation? In my opinion, marriage isn’t a joke. Marriage, to me personally, is something special. Yes, of course, people after many years may end up discovering that they just weren’t meant to be, and relationships can get ruined, so I’m not saying divorce should be frowned-upon, but I just truly believe that people should only get married if they truly believe that they are in love with each other. Ever since I was a little girl, I imagined myself in the future and wondered whom I’d end up marrying and loving for the rest of my life. I’ve even always thought of child names and how our house would be like. I’ve just always pictured marriage in my mind as such a special, genuine thing. That’s why I believe that as the generations go by, its getting harder and harder to settle down because times are changing and people aren’t valuing marriage as much as I believe it may have been valued in the olden days. I definitely believe that if people truly don’t love each other, they shouldn’t get married. And I also believe that reality TV should not be used as guidance for people to set their marriage standards by.

  5. For the most part, I agree with what you are saying. Marriage is something sacred and a blessing but nowadays with social media and silly television shows like The Bachelor and Married At First Sight, it makes me feel like marriage is not as important and special as it use to be. The fact that twenty-something women want to compete with each other to “win over” one man is just not worth it. Also, could you imagine marrying someone you had never met in your life? Sure, in married at first sight they pair you up with someone based on results of your personality and interests, but it seems as though we are getting so lazy in this generation we don’t even want to go out and find love ourselves. I also agree that some of these celebrities such as Kim Kardashian’s marriages are not all perfect and they are madly in love, many reality TV stars get into marriages for publicity, ratings, and more fame. As just average people who are not famous TV stars, we all can see and judge that some celebrities marriages did not seem like they were done for the right reasons. To be honest, I feel like it would be more difficult to find a good husband/wife for life being a celebrity than a normal person.

  6. I agree with a lot of points that you made but I also believe theres more to it than just these reality tv shows causing kids/people looking up to the wrong thing in marriage. I believe that disney princess movies and romance movies also contribute. Movies like these give people this false idea that love is perfect. It shows that its at first sight, with lots of passion. It shows that there is no fighting, no problems to work through and overcome. Romance and disney movies paint a false picture that little girls, teenagers, and people looking to get married look up to. If you only show people the positive parts of marriage/love then your setting them up to not know what to do when there is a obstacle to overcome. I feel as if majority of people who watch these shows you’re talking about just find them funny and not realistic even though they’re labeled as “reality”, but these other movies…..those are an issue.

  7. I have always considered most reality shows to be immature, and usually as well as the people who watch them, even if most of our generation does. I agree with Cain, in saying that TV shows tend to warp or change views of the younger generations. Using TV as a source of media is to our advantage, but is instead used to create bad images. We are so anxious and caught up in wanting to be just like celebrities that we often forget what they really stand for or what they’ve accomplished. While this article specifically addresses marriage, it most definitely applies to any relationship in that people tend to choose the wrong values all the time. All relationships require work and commitment; however, I think a marriage is one big promise and should not be taken as lightly as it is. More than once before, I’ve heard that if you can maintain a happy relationship without sex, you’ll have a more successful, appreciated, and healthy relationship. I think we have all had false ideas of marriage at some point and it should be taken more seriously.

  8. I definately agree with you and your statement about the negative role media plays in portraying marriages to the world. We are surrounded by headlines of celebrities constantly getting divorced and it is reported to us in a way that is so casual. It desentizes us to these issues and makes the option of divorce an easy “out”. Although I believe there are many valid reasons for getting divorced, these media figures are simply not taking their vows seriously and many are leaving at the first sight of trouble in their marriages. This just goes to show how unseriously they took the lifelong sacrament and commitment of marriage to begin with. I have become a product of this media impact because it has made me never want to get married all-together because it is not something that is treasured and sacred anymore. Unfortunately, our culture’s thirst for drama and good reality tv does not promise for this trend to end soon.

    1. I am also a victim of the media and their perception of marriage. I think to myself, why should I get married if it does not hold the high value as it once had in the past? It is sad and frightening what the media has done to what was used to be such a prestigious American value. You are definitely right, in our society drama does make for the best content and it will not end anytime soon.

      1. Just because shows like The Kardashians show marriage to be not as high value as it once was, it shouldn’t mean you give up on it. It depends how much it means to YOU and your significant other and not to others. Marriage isn’t for other but just for your relationship. But, I do agree with you that marriage is not seen as important as it once was.

    2. I agree with you! People take relationships now a days not serious and which is why it all ends so bad. Also, your point with all we now look for is drama is so very true. That is why I feel like all these people come out with these reality tv shows for the attention and of course the money.

  9. I can agree with this article because I see how fragile marriage has become in the relationships of my friends’ parents. My parents couldn’t be happier and have been together for 30 years, but that seems to be a rarity nowadays. Divorce is such an easy way to run away from problems now, where as 30 or 40 years ago even the notion of divorce was taboo. People need to understand the level commitment involved in the institution. The complete hacks we see on television have very little respect for anything but themselves.

    1. It’s unfortunate that people would rather look for the easy way out opposed to solving their problems.  We see this way too much where couples fail to implement conflict resolutions.  It’s never easy for people to face their fears or overcome difficult challenges they encounter in their marriage.  It takes lots of courage, patience, dedication and understanding to help contribute to a successful relationship. Therefore, I agree that today individuals don’t value their commitment to a healthy marriage.  

    2. I couldn’t agree more about how you say divorce is such an easy way to run away from problems. Couples get into one little argument, right then and there they think you should get a divorce or break up. The way reality TV shows plays a role on couples is sad. It is unfortunately tearing them apart.

  10. Although marriage is considered sacred some people get married for various reason. Some individuals even have a hidden agenda. Unfortunately “marriage” has lost it’s value to what is was once known as, therefore, it is not respected and in some cases it is exploited. Regardless, in today’s society with the use of online social media websites, relationship don’t tend to last long opposed to how they once were. For example, if you were born prior to the mid 90’s you are more likely to last longer in your marriage opposed to those who were born in the late 90’s till now. The effect of social media activity can play a negative role in trying to build a solid relationship with your significant other. It has been statistically proven according to research that the use of online activity through the means of social networking can affect your marriage, ultimately causing the divorce rate to increase. To maintain a positive and healthy relationship/marriage minimize your overall use of social media websites. Also, look for more positive role models and don’t be deceived from how marriage is portrayed in the media and on television.

  11. Marriage has indeed lost its value, but it is tough to know what needs to happen for it to regain that value. While it should always be for love in modern times, sometimes other things get in the way. It is important that people understand the gravity of their decision when they marry, and it appear that a large number of people do not. Divorce is something that has lost its levity over time as well. Basically, one should always try to make sure that this person is who they say they are, and that they want to be with that person for sure, before taking the next step.

    1. I agree with you! Nowadays people will jump right into something, just to have that special feeling. People don’t care if it is real or not anymore. You are right, people don’t understand the concept of marriage either. It isn’t just a piece of paper. It’s a commitment that people seem to take for granted.

  12. This article really hit the nail on the head. Marriage has been demeaned and broken down in reality TV. What used to be a symbol of love and affection is now a symbol of jokes and fights.The next generation of children may have a false perception of what marriage really is. I have seen this first hand when my 13 year old cousin told me her role model was Kim Kardashian. I was a little bit taken aback, I know that she is young and might not understand. However, the kids of the younger generation deserve to see what real marriage looks like.

    1. Kids are growing up in a culture with different values than the ones before it. Kim Kardashian is a terrible role model who has made some truly poor life choices. Perhaps you could introduce your cousin to better role models, especially if they are closer to home. If anyone in your non-immediate family has left a positive impression you could use them. I’ve used my grandfather as my own role model. Be careful who you chose though, as your cousin might not understand that you don’t have to exemplify every trait of your role model.

    2. I agree most relationships we see online are made fun of and make memes of them emphasizing “love” to be a certain way and if not it isn’t love. Media changes perception of many things. Usually we always focus on the marriages that don’t work out like the famous 72 day one of Kim Kardashian. There are some happy and true love relationship like John Legend and his wife Chrissy.

  13. I too believed marriages were sacred and one time deal at first. But, after growing up and watching families and movies with parents relationships being unhealthy it made me realized that just because you made a commitment to be married to each other doesn’t mean it will work out in the end. Sure, you should have taken more time from the start and took precautions to ensure a good result but nothing is guaranteed. It is okay to end a relationship that is not helping you mentally and is affecting others around you like children. Media can create false visions of what things should look like and make others want the same but media can fool you. Shows like The Bachelor, in my opinion, is dumb. How do you fall in love with someone within a certain amount of time and get engaged after just meeting them. I don’t understand.

  14. These reality shows are putting relationships and marriages to shame. When you are on a reality tv show, and you all the sudden “fall in love” with someone you have barely known, that is not real. It is not healthy for you to be in that type of relationship which is why in the long run, it never works out. Social media creates a lot of expectations for relationships that are not going to happen. In the next generations, people are going to get the wrong idea of what love is supposed to be. I definitely agree that these reality shows need to go.

    1. I agree with you Jen, the reality shows are putting relationships and marriages to shame. If you truly think about it the Bachelor and Bachelorettes have a total of four dates and the show airs for eight weeks. How on earth are you suppose to find a connection and determining who you would like to marry and spend the rest of your life with? How is eight weeks enough for anyone to know who they want to marry? Marriage has to do with real feelings and commitment.

      1. PrincessBrittney, I disagree with you. I believe reality shows make people believe that they can find that perfect someone in a short period of time. If people expect relationships to fail, than that will lead to divorces. There are also shows where people get married to people they have never met that their parents picked for them. Where individuals are almost forced to like one another, since they have no say in their partner.

      2. I am so glad you agree with me Brittany! If you truly want something to work out with someone, eight weeks is definitely not enough time. How do you get to know somebody when you are constantly being filmed? In the end on the shows, it most likely doesn’t work out. They may be together for a couple months but then they find out all sorts of things about this person and it just doesn’t work. Shows like this are aired for entertainment, not to show you true love can be found.

    2. I don’t agree with these shows either. Some of them are just ridiculous. I know female america would hate me for saying this but The Bachelor/Bachelorette is the worst show when it comes to this. Women in the dating pool want to talk about how unfaithful men can be, but these women literally sign up to watch it. It blows my mind sometimes.Within the first week the guy is making out with at least five to ten girls on the show.

  15. This is a topic that really gets me fired up, because in today’s society no one takes love seriously anymore. I never dated anyone in high school because all the boys because all the boys were, were immature and they just wanted to “hook up.” I am extremely old school when it comes to my relationship and my boyfriend and I have never been better. He also thinks the way I do so that makes it easier. If you really want to be with that person you have to realize that there are going to be arguments and you won’t always have the same opinions with things. I think that is the main key to keeping a relationship healthy. There will be little fights here and there but you have to understand that the love for that person is stronger that you being right over a little argument. My boyfriend and I get into little arguments here and there but then we will both realize that, that was a stupid argument or that I was PMS-ing or whatever so then he or I would apologize and then we would be fine, it would be like nothing happened. I just think that people need to realize that relationships aren’t a joke, and love does exist. I guess you can say that as much as you put into a relationship is how much you will get out of it.

  16. I agree that marriage is treated like a joke, and the younger generation is helping society turn it into a bigger joke. The amount of “Reality” shows that air on television are overwhelming. Most of the shows are not even truly reality, how can one act like themselves if they know a camera is rolling? Most individuals will change how they act when cameras are around. The young women on the Bachelor must compete to win one guys heart. If you have to fight another person or a group of individuals to gain trust, respect and love from someone, you might be going about the whole marriage thing wrong. Love is suppose to feel natural it does not need to be forced or competed for. Marriage is not a joke, marriage is about becoming a team, being able to love each other unconditionally, spending the rest of your lives together, facing reality and being able to get through anything that gets in your way. Marriage is not about money or ratings, its about love and picking your better half to spend the rest of your life with.

    1. The younger generation has been deceived by the media’s conception of marriage. Therefore, is the reason they are helping in the decline of marriage value. Reality TV shows are indeed not real and they show us a false reality of things. It is unfortunate that reality TV shows are what influence the youth’s view on marriage because they do not reveal the true meaning of love.

      1. Isaiah, I completely agree with you. The younger generation is being deceived, because reality television show relationships are not truly reality. If they showed the reality of a relationship it would not be so drama filled and exciting to watch. The younger generation needs a real life married couple to look up to. Then they would be able to see what a marriage is suppose to look like.

  17. I absolutely agree with your opinion of how marriage is perceived in this day in society. I grew up with a very strong family background, my parents were not always the happiest, but marriage is something that teaches you decency and selflessness, I am one that believes life is about lessons. Growing up watching parents who work through problems together is a precedent that should be set for all people. Divorce is too common. I don’t know one person with elderly grandparents who divorced. What happens if you have an issue with someone as an adult? Should we teach people to just ignore others, and never consider the lives of others, or their goals, and admirations. A lot of the new age avoidance of marriage has to do with a recess of religious beliefs in society. I am not a religious person by any means but marriage in time, because of its origin in religious processes has been viewed as something strictly based on religious beliefs. It shouldn’t be that way either, it should be about the caring and love you have for an individual. Call me a romantic. And the saddest part about today is that we take the crap that social media, and tabloids feed us and we ask for more. Girls that grow up idolizing Kim Kardashian, a girl who became famous for a big butt, and fornicating with famous athletes and hip hop celebrities. Have some respect for yourself and don’t idolize people without purpose.

    1. Your parents and my parents are different. You said your parents fight and then talk it out and work it out which is the healthy way. My parents marriage isn’t healthy and they fight like every week but the thing that is weird is that they won’t get a divorce. I think that shows how past relationships in the day show how much marriage means.

      1. Fighting isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But there is a healthy and an unhealthy way to go about it. And maybe for them, they deal with it in a way that works for them. And maybe they just feel stuck in the marriage because that is what you promised to do. That was how I was. It was unhealthy. But yet I stayed. So we cannot judge without knowing.

      2. Absolutely, and who am I to say that my parents’ relationship is better than anyone else’s. My parents are both very stubborn people who like to make small comments at each other using their kids as a medium fo communication. But I think that even though they argue a lot, that they have stayed together because of what marriage means to them. I think it means a lot to both of our parents. Im sure its hard if you’ve been together long enough to agree that you should start a family together, and at one point had been able to say that for no material reason that they should spend the rest of their lives together.

  18. I agree that fighting isn’t a bad thing and its pretty much going to happen in every relationship. The way they do solve it is important. I feel like they do just feel stuck in the relationship because of kids and money, but I feel like a divorce would be in best interest for their happiness and health as well as the others around them, as in family. I feel like back in the day as soon as they made this commitment they were in it for ever no matter what and now a days there is more room to go about. People aren’t scared to get a divorce now and end a relationship if it isn’t working how they hoped and that is okay.

    1. Do you think that people are getting married nowadays with an over-glorified opinion of what it means? I think people that are in love, that do decide to get married, feel that the modern opinion of marriage is constant butterflies, and if you don’t have that then it’s over. Long term love is underrated nowadays. I don’t look at my brothers every day, or my sister, or my parents, and think “I love having you here.” However, for all problems in life, and through every decision I make, they are considered as major factors though, because I know that they’re going to be there, and could be affected. Shouldn’t the family you start be the same way? Or should the romance be the focus?

  19. While I agree that marriage is becoming less and less sacred with each passing generation, I have to polity disagreed that the media is a direct cause for the deterioration for the traditional marriage. Marriage is becoming the subject of being just about things like pregnancy or money and not about true love like you said. It’s not sacred anymore and I completely agree with that. However, as much as media influences our lives, I believe that it doesn’t directly cause the deterioration. Media has its extent to which it influences our behaviors and thoughts. As human beings we can tell the difference between reality and fiction. A show like “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” is not a real depiction of the lives of normal people. People can see that. They have their own identities that revolve around their own troubles in their own world which is more important to them when compared to reality shows. The decision of what to make their marriage for is greatly influenced by their own personal, self-identifying desires. Regardless of the cause, marriage is becoming less and less sacred (the increasing divorce rates speak for themselves) ,and I am glad you acknowledged that change is needed due to the fact that it binds our society together.

  20. Marriage plays a big role in our daily life. Some people though really do not take the time to actually see the real definition of what marriage is. More of this because marriage can be viewed and be thought as many different ways. Now marriage to me is when you want to be with that someone for the rest of your life knowing that he or she will be the correct person. The correct person in the sense that you are able to see yourself with him or her because both understand each other. Marriage also has many important factors like both persons having a contact in connection within each other, and also knowing that no matter what both will stick it through. Even though marriage can be hard because problems might come up in the future the best way would be to try and solve the problem. Now when the problem is not able to be fixed then that is when both persons need to take a look and make the best possible decision for each other and more when there is a family in between. Being married should be no game at all and should only be made up of each other decisions not because other people around might tell you. Not only what people say but we should not listen to what is being portrayed all around social media. Social media is actually one of the worst steps that a person can take to make decisions because we should be capable of making decisions our own way so that we are able to fall back on ourselves. Marriage is really beautiful as long as you are able to know the right way that it should be followed as.

  21. I couldn’t agree more, social media and television make it so that marriage isn’t taken as serious in this day and age. Television and social media nowadays encourages my generation to may not out right think that marriage is a joke, yet puts them in the mind set that marriage isn’t as important. I am not saying that marriage isn’t as important, I personally feel that marriage definitely is taken less seriously, but to those who take it seriously it can last. There are just a handful of people that do, like you said, value marriage less, but I don’t believe that my whole generation is like this.

  22. Since I was little I was under the impression where marriage was the big step of your life when you join your life with someone else. When you become one and start your own family. Marriage should not be a joke. On reality TV it makes fun of marriage. People are only playing with trust and love. They don’t even love if they get divorced and get re-married. All people are doing is thinking that they are in love and they need attention. That is all. No one wants to be alone. They want that idea in their head to come home to someone and always having that one person be there for them even if there is no feelings. It is only an idea to them and they believe that they are happy when in reality they are not.

  23. A lot of things that we found and kept sacred are no longer meaningful any more. Everything today in this world is ruined by society. For example chivalry is dead. Men used to open the door for your car, but now that does not happen anymore. People barley use doorbells anymore because we just text each other when we are at their house so we don’t have to make conversation with anyone. Truly it’s sad. Marriage though is a huge deal however and this article is so right that we take it as a joke before it was all about love and it was so pure, but now it’s like we can care less and if we end up not liking the other we just get divorces. I think we should stop running and actually try to fix these problems because marriage is not a game or a joke.

  24. The disparity in television programs today is unfortunate due to there being multiple alternatives to informational and realistic programs. People are often much more likely to watch something dramatic and entertaining opposed to something factual or informative. This is why so-called reality TV sees such a need to create drama and conflict; they would not pull as many viewers otherwise. As a relatively young person, I see this issue of a disrespect for the marriage covenant rooted even beyond the media’s portrayal of marriage itself. The idea of a dating relationship has become so distorted and twisted in the media, be it through dating shows, derogatory music, etc. If a relationship cannot be taken seriously at the dating level, one cannot expect it to be treated with reverence at the marriage level.

  25. Marriage is a union between two people who have decided to love each other and spend their live together. This post throws a big light to reality TV portraying marriage as been a game of deceit or conflict, or just loving someone at a sight. I don’t see love at first sight as real because one needs to know the other person at least for months before getting married. Marriage in today’s society is disregarded because young people just fall in wrong hands, or marry for wrong reasons like money, fear of being alone or even following the crowd. On the other hand, marriage in the 1950s was seen an obligation where people see themselves as one and respected each other. I do believe that TV reality shows give us what they want us to see but its left to us to decide on what we take in from the Media. Marriage can be revived if people choose to respect their marriage and marry for love, trust and commitment.

  26. I always hated watching “The Bachelor” because I could not stand how girls acted so desperate and had this fake personality just to get the bachelor’s attention. I always thought, if the guy likes you, he likes you for you. It’s funny how after I got engaged, I ended up watching and loving “The Bachelor”. I loved seeing the spark between the potential winner and the bachelor. Some times these types of shows can still have a positive impact on you because you see some real footage. You cannot fake the chemistry and how they look at each other. Reality TV is fun to watch if the media does not easily influence you. For me, it’s actual relaxing to watch it. However, you don’t watch reality TV to learn your beliefs and values. And if you do, you might have to consider the foundation of your life and what it is based on. TV is TV and if you are a weak person, you can definitely get the wrong message. You do not marry for the guy’s looks and the fun dates he takes you on. You don’t marry right away in such a short time period. Or do you? I married the guy that I don’t mind to stare at and he still takes me on fun dates. Also married the first guy I was ever in a serious relationship with. Old traditions of married differ from what it is today and what reality TV shows. But for me, marriage is really marrying your best friend. As cliché that may sound, but it really is. You spend the rest of your life with your best friend, someone who knows and understands you, and someone you can get to do cool things with. You will always have a best friend, a date, a dance partner, vacation buddy, and just someone who is there for you. Reality TV or not, the basis of marriage is how the couple feels towards each other and how they can make each other a better stronger person.

  27. I agree with a lot of what you pointed out about our modern world and our obsession with Reality TV. Personally, I think The Bachelor is so strange. Why would 25 women want to compete for one man, or vise versa? The whole idea just seems so crazy to me. You don’t meet the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with on a television show. Other modern outlets also contribute to what you pointed out in your article. Now there are things on Twitter like “relationship goals” with pictures of boyfriends bringing their girlfriends flowers or just screenshots of nice messages they send each other. I believe these things are nice things to share between the two people and do not need to be plastered all over the internet. Love isn’t all roses, love is work. To paint a picture on social media like your relationship is perfect is so false. This shows incorrect standards for others, like if you start to fight with your significant other, then you’re not meant to be together. A real, healthy relationship involves disagreements and work between two people and I think people really need to remember this as the real reality and not the act they see on TV and the internet.

  28. The sad reality of our society is that now everything is at stake, marriage is a union of love, wisdom, respect, it is not an act to gain raiting or to earn money or attention of people. Sadly it’s true that these shows hurt the minds of all our young people, and at the same time teach them that instability is something acceptable is something that is not bad if it is about fame and money. Marriage is a very sacred thing because it is the union of love between two persons who love each other, it is not a game or a performance to gain admiration, unfortunately these shows are not of eninities, they are shows that damage the image of the traditional culture.

    1. I agree with you Lina that marriage is sacred thing. However, seeing all those T.V shows, it portrays marriage as a game, a fame or just some union where the couples are allowed to do anything. On the hand, marriage is said to be a tie between two people who see themselves as one, but with these shows going on, people see marriage as a relationship where two people just come together but act separately. I do hope that people choose what type of shows they watch as the choice lies in our hands, because media can portray theirs but its left to us to take what we want from what we are been given.

  29. you are totally right Abisola. Honestly, I belive that this type of American tv shows Are shows that do not teach us anything constructive, on the contrary these shows teach us not to follow a tradition, not to respect our family.

  30. It is a valid claim that media has corrupted the sanctity of marriage. However, I don’t think it is media portrayal of marriage itself that is causing this phenomenon. Shows like the bachelor do warp the idea of how to find a meaningful, lasting connection with an individual. But it is the over sexualization of our society that is really corrupting the values of not just marriage, but all intimate relationships. Marriage isn’t always beautiful dinner parties with friends. Marriage is supporting your spouse when they lose their job. Marriage is taking care of your spouse when they get a chronic illness. As a society we want everything to be sexy and convenient, and marriage isn’t sexy, or convenient. Our society is becoming less traditional so marriage has become less traditional, and that’s ok. The sanctity of marriage has been corrupted, but as long as our society values convenience over hard work and lust over love, that will never change.

  31. My favorite part of this post, is the very end: “Maybe we just need to turn the reality tv off.” I couldn’t agree more. There are some excellent points being made about marriage here, and how we view the institution within society. In addition to creating relationships, love interests, and angst within them for ratings, I’ve noticed (although these are called “reality” shows) there is also an obvious goal to wrap up seasons with a neat little bow. It’s as though they are trying to emulate the fantasy that exists within sitcoms and romantic comedies.This side of it doesn’t promote healthy ideas about relationships either. It makes it seem as if toxic relationships can be fixed quickly. In real life it is common for couples to argue and sometimes its best to take some time apart and evaluate things. When a season finale is coming up though, it doesn’t always bode well for the “story line” to end a relationship on a sour note.

  32. The portrayal of love and marriage in today’s society is definitely distorted, and we can easily contribute that to media or “reality TV”. While these things do in fact warp the minds of the younger generation and generations to come, we have to teach our children that this can only go so far. Of course kids want to grow up and be like a certain celebrity, but it is our job to teach them whether they are on a good path or not. If they want to be like someone, we can guide them in how they should and shouldn’t go about certain things. By letting them stray off on their own does them no good, and this is where having a good foundation comes into play. if we let our children get so easily swayed by people on TV and not the figures in their very own homes, we are not doing our job. It is up to us to show them how to find real love and how to react as their own individual human being, as opposed to acting like a “robot”. Also, we need to show them how to follow their own emotions, because they are exactly that… their OWN. In doing so, you can never make a wrong decision when your heart makes it for you.

    1. In regards to the young generation watching TV is different from when we watched TV when we were young. Primarily, we just watched kid’s channel like Disney channel and cartoon network. These TV shows were created for the kids to laugh, learn and be inspired. Nowadays, with iPads and Youtube these young children and teenagers have access to adult language content and expletives shows that are posted online. In this sense, these kids are getting a bad influence on society and how they will develop their identity may actually be influenced by these sorts of shows. This is troubling.

  33. Marriage really is looked at much differently today that it was in the past, in my opinion. Many people were married at a younger age and settled down way earlier than people do now. With my dating experience, I do typically date guys who are a few years older than me, so usually around 23-25. I figure that at that age, the guy is looking to settle down because I assume they are close to wanting marriage and a family. However, the guys those ages that I have dated still say that they are not “looking for anything serious.” So what are you looking for then and how long will it take you to want to settle down? I just cannot come to terms with that. For me and a lot of my friends who are all twenty-one years old, we wish to be married by 27-28 and have kids at 30! And I do believe a lot of men’s behavior is due to reality TV! They become engaged in these idiotic reality TV shows that mock the idea of marriage or look down upon it. For example, “The Bachelor,” is probably one of the worst reality TV series there is. That is not the way that people should meet and get married. A huge percentage of those marriages do not work out anyway. Then there is, “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” and the people on that show do not take marriage very seriously either. The world we live in today almost makes marriage seem like not a big deal. Divorce rates are higher than ever before and I feel like getting married is just not a huge deal for people anymore. It makes me very sad because I take the idea of marriage very seriously, and I can only hope that my future partner will as well.

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