Coming out: The first step in Honoring True Identity

A guest blog entry by Luis L. (student, world citizen)

Coming out is one of the hardest things a person can do.

It’s an emotional roller coaster that people cannot even imagine. There are several factors involved like:

What will my parents will say or do?  Will they kick me out?  Will that accept who I am?  How will my friends react?  Will people at work treat me differently?  Will my friends and family treat me differently?

This is but a few things that gay kids have to worry about.  On top of which there is social stigma, which is why sometimes people never come out.  Or, if they do come out they only come out to certain people.

Or, sometimes people don’t come out at all and just live a lie their entire life.

What I want to know is, who do we blame? For a life time of forced lies, is it the person’s fault for not being truthful? Or, is society to blame? Or, just maybe, it’s a combination of both. The fact of the mater is, coming out is hard enough without some people saying “your going to hell”.

I want a discussion.

I appreciate supportive comments but if you disagree say something.  I won’t think any less of you because, in the end, we’re all just people fighting for what we believe.  And that is the only way people can fully develop who they are supposed to be in society.

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143 thoughts on “Coming out: The first step in Honoring True Identity

  1. Let me just start out saying this, that I do believe in Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Eve and Erica. But I am a mother and if my son tells me he is gay I will be hurt, but that does not change my love for him. A mother’s dream is to see her son or daughter get married and have kids. I’m not saying that is not possible the other way around, but there is difference. Although I will not agree with his lifestyle, but if they make you happy and you love them, then I will support you but I will not agree with his lifestyle. As for “going to hell,” everyone will be judged for their own way of life.

    1. I do like what you said, that even though you would not agree with the lifestyle of a gay person you would still love them and support them. I believe that takes a lot of courage to support someone even though you would not agree with their lifestyle. It is almost a contradiction to say that you don’t agree but you still support, but at the same time it is not because that is two completley different feelings and emotions and ways of thinking. I overall think you should support people with the decisions they make in their own life becasue it is their life and no one elses.

      1. Yeah, the idea of not agreeing however supporting I feel is very hard to explain. For example, I hate seeing gay people make out in public because although it sounds immature it still makes me feel very uncomfortable. But then again I feel that there is a time and place for everything so for that reason, they should also take into account those whom are around them. People still don’t see gay people as being part of the norm so it takes a while for us to be okay with seeing things like that. I think that people should be entitled to love whoever they want to love, no matter what the sex is. However, go to a gay parade and agree with their lifestyle I still feel that I won’t be a part of. I don’t discriminate against them but I’m still not comfortable in that atmosphere so I rather just stay away from it.

    2. I like how Deborah said that she would not judge someone if they were to say they are gay. A person’s lifestyle is their own choice and people should not be hated upon or the love you have for that person should not change. Support is the number one thing people need by their family when they admit that they are gay. If a person gets support from their family, living the life they choose for themseleves is so much easier.Happiness is key in a persons life and if that lifestyle is truly what makes that person happy they should go on with it.

      1. I agree completely with Amanda when you have the support of your family the decisions you make in your life are so much easier. Knowing that your family loves you for who you are not what you choose to be makes everything so much easier. When someone comes out its not just telling a few people its telling everyone even people they don’t know and they get judged from every angle, so having the support of their family makes that so much easier for them.

    3. I like what Deborah has posted. I agree with deborah. She is right how can a parent never stop loving their child. Raising them all those years to find out your son or daughter likes the same sex, that is what they want, you must abide by it. I don’t like to hear people say “your going to hell” for doing this. You can also go to hell for stealing or even cursing. Sometimes things can get a little ridiculous. Deborah is right though, you can never stop loving your kid know matter what they have done. You might be upset at times, it might be reasonable but you cannot shut them out of your life. Imagine the pain you would put your child through by saying “I never want to see you again.” These are very hurtful words, these can affect people enough for them to commit suicide. Some don’t care and move on, but sooner or later you will feel sorry when you are 85 years old wondering what ever happened to your child, what did they do, what did they accomplish in life? You must stick by their side know mattter what.

    4. I agree with Deborah completely. I am not a mother yet, but hopefully one day will be a wonderful one. And if my son or daughter came home and said to me, “Mom, I am gay.” I would still love them with all my heart and soul. Coming home and saying that their gay is a lot less stressful as them coming home and telling me their addicted to heroin or ecstasy. I could only imagine how hard it is for a gay person today, just shaking inside to tell people, everyone their true feelings. I don’t know how that feels, but I do know that I want everyone to know how much I love my boyfriend, Kyle. Love is a strong emotion that I never take for granted. I hope that all the gay couples out there can also feel comfortable expressing their deep love for their partners and face the fear of the “what if’s.”

    5. I like that Deborah Robinson would still accept and love her son if he was gay even though she would not approve of his lifestyle. I do not have any children yet but I as well would be very accepting if my child came to me and told me that they were gay. It really saddens me when I hear about people who come out to their family and friends about being gay and they do not get accepted by the people they love the most. When a mother and father in particular do not accept their child because they are gay is one of the saddest things. The mother and father raised and loved their child and because their child did not grow up and end up loving someone of the opposite sex they pretty much disown their child. I feel that more parents should accept their children no matter what their sexuality is.

    6. I agree with what your saying. I believe not agreeing with but supporting can be done, but harder than you think. I do have to ask though, if your son was to tell you that he was homosexual would you be alright with him bringing someone home to meet you and your family? As well as everything a heterosexual would do with their significant other?

      1. Putting a person in that situation really makes you think twice about the situation. I’m perfectly fine with gay people however I don’t think I would be excited about having a gay son. I don’t think I would kick him out or do anything like that but I feel that I would be very hurt. I just feel like gay people suffer so much. They get stared at without doing anything wrong. They have a very tough life and I feel that when you’re a parent you want your kids to have a good life. I don’t know how comfortable I’d feel with my son getting picked on because of his sexuality. I’ve seen how tough gay people have it. Even when they want to have kids I feel like it’s unfair to an adopted child because they are basically being forced to accept to have two dads, instead of a mom and dad. Then the offspring will be getting picked on since his/ her parents are gay. It’s just a very tough situation.

      2. I would have to say at first it would be quiet shocking to find out my child was homosexual. But it wouldn’t give me or anyone else the right to not live the life they want. If they want to bring their significant other around the family then that’s their choice. They have the responsibility to deal with what people say, all I can do is to tell them to not listen to what is said. As long as I am to see my children smiling then I would let them love who they will. I grew up in a strict household when it came to dating I personally know how it is being heterosexual to bring someone new around. I could not imagine how it would be being homosexual. But I wouldn’t at all make my child feel uncomfortable.

    7. I feel that living a lie, and living unhappy would just not be a life worth living. For what? Since when did things change that we live to make others happy? I feel that there is society to blame for that. Society has specific expectations and if you’re not meeting them, then you’re simply not living your life the adequate way. I’m a true believer that there is somebody for everybody and if being with the same sex is what makes you happy then more power to you. As for going to hell, I think that will be determined on the way you live your life not on you being gay. Many people do live with that fear and live a lie. They feel that they will be judged. We get judged everyday anyhow so why not be yourself. Families so many of the times just bail out on their kids when they come out of the closet. Which I feel is very hypocritical being that as a parent or even just a family member you out of all people should have unconditional love. You don’t have to approve of their lifestyle however; I think that you should learn to live with it. I’m pretty sure it’s a hard transition for a parent because there are always going to be a set of expectations however, sometimes things change so we need to learn to work with what we have.

    8. Deborah, I love the way you explained your viewpoint on this topic, and I completely agree with you. I know that society has shaped me to have the traditional views on love and marriage, but because society is changing to include many different lifestyles, I feel that it is important to be accepting of them, even if I don’t agree with them. This way it will be less worrisome for those who are fearful of coming out, and it would make their lives much easier as well. I know as a Catholic it is important for me to accept people for who they are.

  2. I can agree, saying that it’s someone who comes out saying they’re gay is going to be subject for too much ridicule as being gay has such a socially negative stigma. Many gays may decide to not come out to avoid this, however, lying is still not acceptable either. So, to answer your question, I would say people who are forced to live a life of lies instead of coming out to tell society that they are gay is a combination of the person as well as very much the fault of society. If I had to choose one or the other to blame, I would say society is the one to blame and the closet homosexual is the victim. I know personally if someone I knew and was close with told me they were gay, as much as I may try to not let it affect me, I know that I would not be able to see that person the same way I did before I knew. Does this make me a bad person? I would like to think not, as I know I would not torture this person or ridicule them, but the fact I cannot look at them the same way is me giving into my human nature.

    1. I disagree that many gays don’t come out to avoid ridicule. I agree in a way, but I think many of them don’t come out because they are insecure with themselves. If they were truly secure with their sexuality then what other people think of them shouldn’t phase them in the least. Albeit, if their parents or someone close to them looks down on gays it could be stressful. I think that it will help the individual separate their true friends from the fake. A true friend will be your friend through thick and thin whether they agree with your choices or not.

      1. I agree to a certain extent to what scheffler22 said. I do believe that by telling your friends and family that you are gay you can better identify who really cares for you and who doesn’t. However, I don’t agree with scheffler22 comment “but I think many of them don’t come out because they are insecure with themselves.” Some gays most likely feel insecure about themselves just like any other human being. With that said, I feel as though if society wasn’t so judgmental towards people being gay, gays would feel more secure about coming out. I do understand that some people are unafraid to admit what their sexuality is but that does not mean that everyone feels the same confidence about telling others if they are gay, straight, or bi.

      2. I have to agree I feel that if you never come out it’s only because you’re actually unsure of your sexuality. It just doesn’t make sense to me on how you would live your life without caring not to ever have somebody for the long run. I feel that those whom use that as an excuse is really unreal. If you’re gay I understand that it may be hard however I don’t think it’s that serious to the point where you just don’t come out at all because you’re scared to be ridiculed. It definitely has more of self-esteem issues within the person and not necessarily orientation that is leading for the person to end up being by themselves. I think that some people can be confused however you really do have to come forward and be yourself at the end of the day.

  3. I agree with Deb, like always! I think that every parent would want their child to find their own path, and hopefully take the straight route, but I’m sure they will love them regardless, although it will cause some pain. The first step in honoring your TRUE identity is to come out and admit what the world may view as your pitfalls, but if you have self confidence it shouldn’t matter what others may believe. Everybody is judged everyday, but for people who are viewed as gay or lesbian they are almost to a point shunned from the rest of the world, and I think that if that’s the path they choose, we should respect it. Everybody chooses their own path to blaze and chooses their own destiny to leave their own legacy, whatever it may be.

    1. “To look is one thing. To see what you look at is another. To understand what you see is another.To learn from what you understand is something else. But to act on what you learn is all that really matters” Sir Winston Churchill

      1. Jordan, I absolutely love this quote, and I feel that it has a lot of significance in this discussion. Acting on something that we learn is the only way that society can progress. I know I have my own personal views and society has its own values as well, but in order for acceptance of change to occur, individuals who believe in certain lifestyles must take action upon the knowledge that they have gained. This is at least what I took from your quote. If you have another point of view I’d love to hear it.

  4. Deborah, there is no difference. Love is love. If anything, gay love would in some ways be stronger than hetero love because it faces so many oppositions and obstacles that they have to overcome. I would describe you as tolerant because being tolerant is defined as allowing someone to do their thing, but not agreeing with them. This is a step in the right direction. I imagine if one of your sons or daughters was gay you would fully understand. I am a gay man that feels that people get imprisoned by labels, so I prefer to be label-less and free.

    1. I think that everyone faces obstacles and oppositions that they have to overcome. I think that because you are gay doesn’t make your obstacles greater. Love is love. Hetero love faces challenges too. If my son was gay it will not change my love for him. I gave birth to him, I carried him around nine long months. I have raised my children, in that my love will not change for them no matter who they date or marry, even if it is outside of race as some people will say. So, I would have to disagree that gay love is stronger, love is love.

      1. I agree with Deb. Love is love. No love is greater than any other. As long as you find it, it doesn’t matter who it is with whether it be the same sex or the opposite sex. Love is the same for everyone.

      2. I can’t agree that the obstacle is the same for a gay person and a straight person. People are still not all acceptant of there being gay couples. For that reason they still face plenty of hardship. Many of the times its not even from people that live outside, they end up being judged by their families. My friend came out not that long and his parents kicked him out and he was homeless for a month jumping from couch to couch. I felt really bad because there should be no reason why you should be bouncing from place because you like something different and not necessarily the norm. They eventually felt bad and asked him to come back home but there relationship is no longer the same. He always tells me how he feels great isolation from his family.

      3. I 100% agree with you. Love is love, God gave everyone challenges to overcome and being gay will be one of them. But same goes for hetero lovers, because parents won’t like the girlfriend he has so he has to face the obstacles of dating someone they care for while their parents don’t approve of the girlfriend. It goes hand in hand with homosexual lovers, the parents may not like who they date so they have the same obstacle to go through. But for myself, I deeply believe a child should love who they want. It wouldn’t be fair to pull them away from true love. I rather see my child smiling and happy the rest of their life rather then suffering because they don’t get to experience true love.

    2. I feel that youforgotyourpass has a point in that homosexual couples do face some great challenges, but I feel that their challenges are not quite the same as those of heterosexual couples. Some challenges may be the same such as financial issues or raising a family, but in regards to social challenges- they are pretty different. In some circumstances homosexuals may face more challenging obstacles because of the stigmas that society attributes to their lifestyle, but ultimately, I do not feel that these types of challenges that have to do with the opinions of society will effect the love that these individuals have for one another. I feel that love is something internal and that if your love for someone changes, then the change occurred within the self- not guided by one’s external circumstances.

    3. I totally agree with Rbisharat. I think that love is love and nobody has the right to define what love looks like. I think that although currently in society gay couples do have it harder when it comes to being fully excepted. But I don’t think that this is any reason for a parent to feel hurt or saddened by their child being gay. they should instead love and accept their child for who they are and support whoever it is that their child is with.

  5. I agree coming out of the closet is probably one of the hardest things someone can do. That is why a lot of people do not come out of the closet until after high school, because in high school they are afraid they will be teased even more because that is when a lot of people are the most judgemental. I also believe it is easier for a woman to admit she is gay rather than a man. Woman are always allowed to show affactionate behavior towards each other, but if a man tries to give another man a hug some people take it the wrong way. I believe society is to blame for how hard it is for someone to admit they are gay, because of the cruel people that exist in the world. The world is changing and people should just try to get used to the fact that some people are homosexual and some are heterosexual.

    1. I agree with the point that high school causes much more stress on coming out than you would usually find out of high school. Throughout high school kids are exposed to constant criticism and teasing which can definitely hurt a person’s self-esteem or their self-confidence. I know if I was gay, there isn’t a chance in hell that I would come out during high school. Gossip is a huge part of high school life and there’s no doubt in my mind that the whole school would know about your decision within the day.

      1. There is not a chance anyone would want to come out in high school. There is always the risk of being bullied and getting hurt from people who hate gays. I would rather my child come out about being gay in college because its much safer and way less judgment occurring. When in high school its all about the “clicks” and to this day clicks will beat on other clicks for being different. Being gay is something they usually will go after first. Although I believe its been slowed down and less bulling is occurring in high school, it still exist. It’s still a big worry to have with your own child. I had a friend who we all suspected to be gay but dated girls all through high school. Then once he went into college he came out and started dating men and we haven’t looked at him at all differently since high school.

    2. I have to agree the majority of people that I know that are gay usually come out until college. They just feel a lot more secure with their decisions. My friend that happens to be gay use to always tell me that he was in fear of being bullied in high school, so he kept to himself, until graduation. However, the majority of people already assumed that he was gay it was just something that was very well seen. He dressed very feminine however by coming out he was referring to the idea of actually being interactive with another male. I have seen firsthand discrimination when just walking with him. You can clearly see how people just blantly stare as if they have never seen a gay person before. We just live in a very ignorant world unfortunately.

  6. I agree with Deborah Robinson that gay love is not stronger. People that are Hetero face many struggles and tribulations in life as well, they may not be the same as that of a homosexual but nonetheless they are there. Before you say something like that you need to look at the bigger picture. Everyone has there own struggles that they have to persevere through in life, I don’t think it’s just one group of people that has it worse then the other. There are so many people around the world facing opposition and people have to carry certain burdens on their backs their whole life. In my opinion, I would also have to disagree that gay love is stronger. Love is love.

    1. I would also have to agree with Megan317 that gay love is not stronger than straight love. To put this in a different perspective for some of you I would like to apply C. Wright Mills. He uses the Sociological Imagination that can explain to anyone how to understand the bigger of today’s issues, like homosexuality. There is a micro level to this specific issue and that involves the individual’s troubles and their biography. Then there is the macro level that is society and issues of a society. Both are reciprocal to each other and play a huge role in how the world “works.” Relating this to the love issue of homosexuality is that all of us have to see the bigger picture before we act or say something to another person. We all go through many trials and tribulations in our lifetime. Somehow, someway, gay, transvestite, or straight we come out of it and grow as individuals in society (Mills). No matter what I go through in life with my significant other, I have to respect and love everyone for what they are and want to be. Whatever makes someone happy, joyous and free is what I want for all people. Making fun of fat people, homosexuals or a different race is you just being a part of the problem. Today, I want to be part of a solution. So love is love, and I am straight, but some people are gay and that is okay today.

      1. I love how you have used Mills to truly connect this issue to real life and show that it is bigger than a me and you situation. There is most certainly more to the issue than just the percieved individual or societal impacts. Sadly, in the world we live in, people often do not look past the surface to allow people to just exist. It would be so much simpler if people would just let one another be who they are instead of trying to dictate to others.

    2. I would have to agree that gay love is not stronger then heterosexual love. Believe me I know for a fact, growing up in a Arab household, it was close to impossible for a girl to bring her boyfriend around because they didn’t like the thought of having a boyfriend until you were 25 and ready to be married. Even though it has became much more acceptable nowadays it was still a struggle to go through. There is not difference in powerfulness in love with any sexual group of love. Love is clearly love. You can’t love someone more then another couple lover their partner. Yes, you can love the person for different reason than the other couple but being in love is the same feeling everyone experiences. There is no need to say gay love is stronger, because then it brings down the straight lovers who have been in relationships for long periods of times and still have love stronger then ever. Love is a shared feeling everyone will discover.

  7. I believe that the challenges faced by homosexuals to “come out of the closet” have to do a lot with a cultural divide. I think that throughout traditional American history there has been a stress on the traditional lifestyle as pictured in movies and the media with the successful husband and wife pair raising their children. Recently, in American history there has been a push to change traditional American culture, with more and more homosexual relationships coming to the surface. I believe it is hard for homosexuals because to the majority of the American population their actions seem deviant and going against the norm. All personal views aside, I believe this is one of the major problems being faced. The cultural divide must first be broken. I also will agree with Deborah on her views of homosexuals. I think it is important to mention the impact that religion has on this subject for many people.

    1. This is true, but it may also be a cause for an increase in homosexuality throughout the country. Homosexuality is a huge topic in the media today and is being brought to light much more often than it had been in the past. It can almost be considered a norm in our culture today. I have countless gay friends and acquaintances and I have no problem whatsoever with their choice. I think if kids are confused or troubled in their youth, they may turn to homosexuality as a means of security and acceptance.

  8. We are all carbon based creatures. We all absorb the sun. People need to stop concentrating on others lives and live their own. I’m not gay so I won’t pretend to be an expert but if someone said to me, “you will go to hell” I would respond, “I don’t see hell, I feel nature.” So, I would blame this on the media and religion, and stagnant old ideas from old people. But also, to be honest I think the entire issue is exaggerated a bit by homosexuals themselves, as the same emotional roller coasters apply for others, such as military veterans who actually face the threat of death. Not to diminish the pain, but sometimes you gotta say “F it.” But the future is bright as most young people support gay rights, but we have yet to take control of the government and media.

    1. I agree with PDZ about how “People need to stop concentrating on others lives and live their own.” People nowadays seem to get more involved with knowing everyone else’s business then their own. I also agree that religion and people who were brought up being taught the more traditional ways of living have to do with gays not being accepted. I have noticed that the more recent generations of people are becoming more accepting of gays and are fighting for more equality, which I am very pleased to see. Maybe one day the world will finally accept gays for who they are as people, not because of their sexuality.

  9. To me homosexuality is such an unnatural thing. The whole reason we have two genders is for procreation. So I think society is so against gayness because eventually it can be very harmful to society as a whole. Our population depends on procreation! If everyone is gay then we as humans will cease to exist, plain and simple. It isn’t something that was ever supposed to be and in my humble opinion shouldn’t be. I mean this respectfully, as I have said it is simply my opinion.

    1. You make it sound like the whole world is going gay, but its not. And further more, not once did you mention love, which is what this whole thing is about. Freedom to love who you choose. It’s not just about sex and physical attraction. And if you think homosexuals are such a danger, you should boycott anything made or handled by a gay person. Fact is, we’re everywhere, we write your magazines, design your clothes, and cook your food. Like it or not, we’re here to stay!

      Peace and love

    2. Not everyone is gay so in the long run humans will still exist. The whole world will never all be gay so humans will always exist. Relationships are based on love and if a man loves a man than he should be with that man, same goes for a woman. I believe some of the people that are against homosexuality are just afraid of change. They are the people that are used to the old way of things and want everything to stay the same, because they feel the world will be best like that. People are just used to the life society has been used to: a woman, a man, and kids.

    3. I am going to have to completely disagree with you on this one. If people are only meant to reproduce than why is it now medically possible for people to get pregnant by having semen injected into them. And if it’s only meant for people who are straight to have kids by having sex then what happens when one of them is unable to get pregnant or contibute properly. There are other options for people like that so just because both partners don’t contribute to the pregnancy doesn’t mean it is wrong. Therefore, it is not wrong for people to be gay just because they can’t have children.

      1. Thank you Amy J, I agree with you on this. I see many gay couples adopt, have kids and still live the same lifestyle as heterosexual couples do. The only difference is that their child will have to also accept the parents for whom they are and go through some struggles of their own. But, they will still be a family and how important is that? What a wonderful feeling to have a family, who loves and cherishes you every day. Having children has nothing to do with being gay, it is an individual choice and that is just wrong to say. Woman can have a child and probably in the future men will be able to carry them as well. Who knows? There is no reason, none at all that people can’t be gay and having children or not being able to is NOT one of them. We all must have love for everyone in our World, whether we disagree or not with that person. These acts of love (or some just tolerate) will make you part of the solution, not the problem. So always let’s all think before we act.

  10. There are many obstacles that people must face, such as “coming out”. Everyone gets ridiculed about aspects in their life or decisions they make. Society does affect our choices. No one likes to be judged wrongly, but that shouldn’t stop us from not being true to ourselves. I think one should only blame themselves. We all have a choice and to be true to yourself some times takes courage. We can’t take everyone’s radicals to heart; people must try to be strong. I think that most will learn that, being brave and taking risks give one a greater outcome and a more enjoyable life.

  11. I agree with Nae’s comment. “Coming out” is just one aspect of life that someone can be ridiculed about. There will always be things that society doesn’t agree with. Some people are judged based on their race, religion, social class, or just personal lifestyle choices. A fear of being judged should never stop you from being who you are.

  12. Coming out is so hard, even in today’s world where almost everything is normal. Kids try to hide it in school and with their friends for as long as they can and sometimes they even try to push it to date the opposite sex. Sometimes, they even go as far enough as they marry the opposite sex because they are so afraid of what their family might think. I support Debs comment too, because she says she will be hurt, which is totally normal for a parent, but she will accept it and will never stop loving her kid. With parents it is understandable, but what about friends? They say they are your friends and friends should always be there for you but usually when someone comes out, all of those friends leave and do not want anything to do with that person. I think it does not really matter as much as that person is happy being with who they are. If it’s a girl with a girl or a guy with a guy, what difference does it make if it’s a male female love or not?

  13. There was a movie on Lifetime, that is a station on cable. It was about a young man who was gay, but he was in the closet. He tried dating a girl, but he didn’t really like her the way most guys would like her. He had feelings for the same sex. He was in high school so when he was in the hallways at school he would stare at the same sex. But anyway, he confided in his older brother and he told him that he was and not to tell his parents because his mother was very religious. But the brother did tell his parents. They were in denial, they sent him to a specialist. Let me just sum this all up, his mother kicked him out and told him he was not her son. The young man ended up jumping off an overpass to oncoming traffic. He caught his boyfriend cheating and he felt no one loved him, so he committed suicide. I cried at the end, so as parents we should not reject are kids, although society will. I agree with Ewelina.

    1. You see many parents these days casting off their children due to sexuality. I was recently watching a TV show on MTV called True Life, about a son trying to come out to his parents. I could see how difficult this simple task was because of how much he respected his parents and how bad he wanted their acceptance. This can cause immense stress on an individual dealing with these problems and can often lead to suicidal tendencies. I think parents play the biggest role in an individual coming out or not. If the parents accept the fact that their child is a homosexual, I think it eases the stress of coming out by a huge portion.

  14. This is a hard topic to decide for me just because I am a christian nd in the bible it says that it is wrong —1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NKJV) “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” I personally don’t agree with people being gay but I think that it is a person’s choice. I don’t judge people by their sexuality becuase a person is a person and if someone wants to be gay I’m not going to look down on them or say they are going to hell because everyone has different beliefs and it also says to not judge in the bible so I don’t judge someone for their sexuality.

    1. I am a Catholic and obviously in my religion homosexuality is looked down upon as well. But there are just some things I choose to believe in my religion and somethings I do not. In my opinion, I believe people should be able to marry whoever they want, man or woman. Like Samantha jo C. I will not judge anyone for their decisions about their sexuality, people will like whoever they want. Noone that is on Earth right now really knows for sure what we will be judged for when we die and what determines whether we go to hell or not.

  15. I think that this can be blamed on society. The harassment an individual can get from “coming out” to people is ridiculous, especially if one is a teenager. We all know that kids can be the cruelest things. This can easily be related to the new hate crime law. Gay people that are now starting to come out should not have to live a life in fear, it is completely unfair. I myself, have a few gay friends and they have not yet come out to some of the most important people in their lives, in fear that they will not be accepted. That is probably one of the most horrifying feelings. Noone should have to hide the real them, and the fact that an individual has to hide their true selves is in fact SOCIETY’S FAULT!!!!!!

  16. I agree with Deb’s point of view. I think that we are noone to judge people with different sexaul attraction, but we are still torn with the idea religously. But, I strongly disagree with Yourforgotyourpass. I understand that gay people go through many issues and rejections, but that doesn’t mean that heterosexual couples don’t go through obstacles as well. Different problems? Yeah , probably. Gay love is like hetero love, the only difference is that you share your love with someone who’s anatomically equal.

  17. I definetly agree with Charli, the harassment and the discrimmination that gay people receive is incredible. I come from a country where machism dominates, and I have friends from my country that live an everyday fear of “coming out” , and mostly the fear is based on this kind of questions: What’s my DAD going to think? or What my guy friends going to think? I think society is to blame because society is everyone observational learning, we learn from what we see. And, if we go against it we are breaking the norm.

    1. I respectfully agree with this comment. I definitely think society is to blame for gay people not feeling free to come out and expose themselves for which they really are. I think it’s totally fine for people to have there own opinions and comments on this topic, but I really don’t think it’s our place to judge what these people choose to do. I also think in expressing our opinions we really need to think about what were saying and how it may affect people who believe in this type of lifestyle.

    2. Society is definetly to blame for the why it is so hard for gays to come out of the closet. Society makes it seem as if homosexuality is extremely wrong. Homosexuals are judged too harshly in my opinion. As I was watching TV the other day I heard someone say “Are homosexuals becoming the new blacks” meaning are homosexuals being unfairly mistreated as African Americans have in the past. I do not believe that is a great comparison, but I thought I should share it.Love is love and society should just accept that.

  18. I am amazed to see the variant views above, but one thing is for certain, there seems to be an underlying view that people should simply respect each other. In that light, I would like to say I respect each of your comments, and those yet to come. But it would be wrong of me not to point out that using religion, and the Bible, to support claims against homosexuality is based in flawed logic.

    First and foremost, religion is made to serve human’s desires and wills. Religion is about human beings need for hope in better things to come. Don’t get me wrong, I am not knocking religion. I believe that each religion has truth, and each religion has some problems. People simply have to find what is right for them.

    Secondly, the bible as argument. Specifically, the use of 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 as justification against homosexuality needs to be addressed. Thank you much for letting us know that it was the New King James Versian of the Bible. Knowing the versian is highly important, because we do not have the originally written works, only translations upon translations. The King James versian is actually rated by many scholars to be one of the least accurate versians in the King James would dictate what would be put in each section, whether or not it was in the documents it was being translated from. It was meant to express his will and what he decided was God’s will. And even with that, my copy of the King James versian doesn’t mention anything about homosexuality.

    To make my point clear let me provide the same verses from Douay Rheims edition of the Bible, which is considered by many scholars to be the most accurately translated versian of the Bible. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 reads in this versian as follows: “Know you not that the unjust shall not possess the kingdom of God? Do not err: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, Nor the effeminate, nor liers wit mankind, nor theives, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor railers, nor extortioners, shall possess the kingdom of God.” Nowhere does it mention homosexuality. Some have argued with this versian that the “liers with mankind” is referring to homosexuality, but this is problematic in that the word lier, spelled at the time only one way, was used to represent two points (to be in bed with somone and to be untruthful). Based on other parts of this versian, I lean toward interpreting it as to be untruthful, in that other areas of this translation actually spell out “to lie with another man’s wife,” etc. This same part of the verse in my King James versian reads as “nor abusers of themselves with mankind.” Right here, we have clear cut confusion, in that we cannot know exactly what was meant 2000 years ago, when we don’t even have the original works. And further, it refers to the effeminate in both my versian of the King James and the Douay Rheims versian. Does this mean that women have no place in the kingdom of God? Now that one is food for thought. It also seems that the NKJV has left this out, or combided two parts of the verse to represent one thing. This is simply further evidence that the Bible, whatever versian, can be manipulated to justify the needs of those sending the message.

    A final point, out of context, any Bible verse, from any versian, can be used to justify any point,and yes, I mean any point. In conext, the particular chapter you speak of in 1 Corinthians speaks to the fact that even the gravest sinners are forgiven of their sins, cleaned by the spirit of Jesus. Verse 11 specifically states: “And such were some of you: But ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” And this is the King James versian I have. A very similar passage appears in the Douay Rheims versian. So, clearly, the meaning intended here is that, even if you are doing something God doesn’t find completly right, you will still be welcomed into the kingdom, because people have been saved by the power of Jesus’ death, his blood.

    People have the right to their opinions, and to use justifications for them, so long as they don’t try to deny another person the same rights. This is fundamental for human existence, recognized by the International Bill of Human Rights adopted by the United Nations more than 50 years ago.

    Treating each other respectfully is the most important attribute to the survival of humanity, not whether someone is into males or females, or both.

    1. When I read this blog, I was touched because this is a subject that hits home for me. I am 22 years old and I have a younger brother who is 18 and gay. I am very close to my brother and he just very recently officially came out. I have personally almost always known that my brother was gay since he was a little boy and I was assured of it by the time he reached early high school. I could tell he was ashamed and so I tried to let him know in subtle ways that being gay was fine and that if he ever needed to talk about anything he could tell me. He would blow it off and still not talk to me about it. That hurt me so bad because I knew that he was ashamed of himself and humiliated. We come from a typical “macho” Italian family, where that was not an option to my father. Within the past six months my brother met someone that he adores. His boyfriend made him realize that it’s ok to be who he is. Because of this he decided to come out and tell my father and mother officially that not only was he gay but he had a boyfriend as well. This caused some problems at first because my father brought up the fact that in the Catholic Church it is a sin to be gay. I want to really thank Bonniejean Alford Hinde for bringing up the points she did with religion. I couldn’t agree with her more about everything, including the fact that respect is the most important attribute here. As I tell my brother, love is love whether its between man and women, man and man, or even women and women. Everybody deserves to be loved. My family has accepted this and I believe grown stronger. Being gay doesn’t make you a leper and it doesn’t mean you should be treated badly whether or not someone agrees with their “lifestyle or not”. I hope that people can learn and open their minds to this because it’s sad that some gay people live their whole life lying about who they are because they are scared of what people will think or how they will be treated. No one deserves that.

  19. My personal belief about homosexuals is still unsteady. I dont know what to think sometimes. Things have changed drastically with the way homosexuals are treated. When I think about homosexuals, I try to put myself in their situation, but i just can’t understand where their feelings come from. I think that’s the problem. Still, people don’t understand, which makes them make fun of or pick on gays. I would never intentionally make a homosexual feel out of place. I have had a few gay friends in the past and I think it’s wrong that other people would judge them simply because their sexual beliefs are different. If the person isn’t hurting anyone and is content with their feelings, they shouldn’t be punished by society.

  20. There is something funny to me about straight people who disagree with gay rights. Just where do they think these gay people come from? Other gays? No! They come from you!

  21. Thank you Bonniejean you have corrected me. I put the NKJV but that verse was actually from the NIV bible, so I do stand corrected with that, but in Leviticus 18 (NIV) it narrates part of the instructions given to Moses by God on Mount Sinai. Verse 22 ” ‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable… 24″ ‘Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled.” I am going to have to disagree with you when you say that there is nowhere in the Bible where it talks about homosexuality because that verse clearly states it and I know your probably thinking well that is the NIV version, not the NKJV. but in the NKJV it states the same in Leviticus 18:22 “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.”

    1. Samantha Jo C., thank you for your correction for which versian of the Bible you quoted from was. This only speaks to the need to be careful, since their are so many versians. As to the Levitcus versus, they don’t actually directly address homosexuality. Most scholars have actually concluded, based on the pieces of evidence they have that it actually said something to the effect of “one should not lay with his son as he would a woman,” which speaks more to incest issues than homosexuality.

      That said, and put aside, I fully respect your opinion, and the teachings of your religion, but try to remember that using a document, such as the Bible, as absolute truth becomes problematic, in that there are so many different versians out there, that how can anyone be sure. Using a document to lead your life by a certain path is one thing, but to use that same document to tell someone else how to live, now that becomes disresepectful. Can’t we all just get along and let people live their lives as they see fit?

  22. Bonniejean I completely agree and see your point. I always just followed what the bible said becasue that’s what I was taught and grew up on, but when I got older I figured out that I need to make choices for myself and do my own thinking and if this is what I believe in… and I do believe with some of the bible but not all of it because like you said there are so many versions of the bible and so many different religions out there so how do I know which is right and which is wrong or even if there is a right or wrong? That is where each individual has to make up their mind and see what’s best for them and I’m still unsure. I totally agree with your last statement because people should be able to live their lives without being judged about their sexuality. I have a couple of gay friends and I don’t view them any differently than any of my other friends because I know I wouldn’t want to be judged by anything so I should give them the same respect. Also being gay is just another personality trait about a person and I don’t get why some people treat gays like a disease or not a “normal” person, there a person just like you and me and should be treated that way!

    1. I am glad to see your openmindedness coming through. Whatever you decide to believe, believe it with conviction. I think the reason why your comment struck me so strongly was that I wasn’t sure that what you were saying was your firm belief or what others told you that you should believe, and here you acknowledge just what I was thinking (I remember being young and having so many messages coming at me that I wasn’t always sure what to believe). Everyday I work with such young brilliant minds, and often they are given conflicted information, and well, I want each person who I come in contact with, whether in a classroom, in life, or on this blog, to see the bigger picture of life before making decisions about life. Life is a journey for which no one person has all the answers, but getting to that final destination, whatever that may be, should be a serious of lessons, choices, and amazing people. Seeing the discussions flow and the honesty in regard to this one issue, as well as others, makes me thankful I started this blog. Thank you for being open to more possibilities than just one. Mills would be so proud (yes I mean C. Wright Mills).

      1. I also think that most things I’ve come to know about my religion was pre-trained to me. And now I read for myself and these things are not just printed out in any verses. So thank you for given your insights. It make sense to me. I’m not one to judge, because to each is his own, if you love it I like it. This is my way of dealing with the one’s sexual preferences.

  23. I think people should make their own decisions. I feel very sorry for the kids that have to hide the fact that they’re gay becuase they are afraid of getting made fun of or what people might say about them. For example I have a gay friend at my old school. When I met him he just acted like a gay kid would. One of my friends never talked to him because he talked gay and wore Ugg boots. I go back now to visit my old school and they hang out daily. You’ll be surprised to find out how many people respect you more if you admit it and come out.

    1. Being afraid to tell the world will only hurt you more and more. The people that make fun of others are wrong. Those people deserve to be punished. People who come out do seem to get some more respect. Sure one will get made fun of a little, but then everything will calm and they will give you credit for coming out. I can name a lot of people who have come out, more girls have come out lately as well. I can’t name one gay that isn’t happy. Admit it to the world.

  24. I also agree with Deb and Jordan. If you will always love your kid no matter if he or she likes the same sex. You must learn to see past that and love them. Even though if something like that happened to me and my kid I would be upset but I would have to learn to love them and don’t look at them differently, because I’m there parent. Everything is a sin, like Jordan said you can go to hell for anything because everyday someone sins no one is perfect. but we all must learn from it.

  25. I would say that it is society’s fault for passing judgement on gay people and in turn creating a fear, but this should not stand as a barrier for those who have not yet come out. I believe that if a person is confident enough to convince themselves that they feel differently biologically, then they should have the confidence to convince the world. we all have the free will to believe whatever we want, but in the end we will all see the truth for what it is. believe what you want to believe, be it right or wrong, there will be an outcome for everything. on earth, you have the right to decide what is right for you, it is the end that the world seems to be uncertain about. But only the veracious grave will be manifest to truth.

    1. Agreed, it is societies fault. We are to busy judging everything possible these days. Including people who come out or people who are scared to come out. “I believe that if a person is confident enough to convince themselves that they feel differently biologically, then they should have the confidence to convince the world.” That right there could not be out any better. Go out there, and convince the world that it is ok. Others should stay out one’s business. If you have the guts to admit you are, then go tell everyone and feel proud.

  26. I do beleive if your gay your gay there is nothing wrong with that. I’m not the type of person who judges someone for the type of sex people like. If someone is gay you can’t really hide who you are. Gay people shouldn’t be afraid of their homosexuality.

    1. There is nothing wrong with it. In the end, straight or gay; we all like someone! Liking someone is liking someone. Feeling comfortable is what we all want to feel with someone. If that someone is the same sex, then be with them. If the other sex doesn’t work out then it’s ok to be gay. Being afraid is only going to eat away at yourself. Tell everyone, and you will be the happiest person alive!

  27. I do believe that it’s society’s fault that so many people feel the need to hide their sexual orientation. Society has told us over and over again that it is wrong to be involved in a same sex relationship. Same sex marriage is definitely wrong and illegal in most places because that’s what society says. I personally don’t have an issue with gay people as long as they’re that way because that’s their real orientation, not because they think it’s the “cool” thing to do. I would love my child if they turned out to be gay because I would support them fully in any and all decisions they made.

    1. With what Tara has said about society judging you if your straight or if your gay, it is ridiculous that some people have to hide the fact that their gay due to people’s thoughts and reactions. Whether you have feelings for someone of the same sex I think it’s OK but with society having the stereotyping someone of being gay is horrible. I don’t see it being so bad when a women and a man love each other it’s the same way of a man liking a man or a women liking the same sex. It’s just loving and having feelings for them. Society is putting out that it’s a bad thing and trying to show society the worst things about it but not showing the good. I see on TV more and more that they’re showing society that these people are everywhere, living normal lives and doing things that people would do, but just having love for person of the same sex. Some people would never know besides friends and family but I don’t see how it effects society besides hurting some mothers when they love their child and want the best for them. When a person may feel that they like the same sex is so bad, but they’re happy and in love. In the past, a women might have had a trouble with guys hurting them and not pleasing them as so a women can and for them to find out that it might make them happier and being happier is better by so many ways as being healthier, feeling wanted, and just feel loved by the same person that shows you what you may want.

    2. I totally agree that the issues about homosexuality relationships are societies fault. Media makes sure that the gay communities are always on the news or in magazines. The media and society make huge deals about issues that shouldn’t be made a big deal. Who else is there to blame besides society and the media? Society puts the homosexual beings on this “look-out” that it’s a huge deal for two people to be in love. What is so impressive about this? People fall in love, period. More and more stars are “coming out” and showing their true freedom to choose to love and cherish their partners the same way as heterosexuals do. I do not have any issues with anyone, gay or straight, I don’t ever want to make someone feel disrespected or out of the norm. I would never want people to make me feel this way either. Like the saying, “Treat others how you want to be treated.”

      1. I completely agree with what Cheryl U said. The way that media is constantly always bashing gays is wrong. Like Cheryl U said more and more celebrities are coming out about being gay and for some reason the media feels the need to exploit their lives. Just because people are gay does not give anyone the right to alienate them and dig into that person’s life. People are gay; there is no explanation for why they are gay, they just are. So others need to stop worrying that people are homosexuals. Love doesn’t discriminate, and neither should we.

  28. I would like to just start off by saying that I truely believe that it is both society and that person’s fault for why it’s hard for people to come out of the closet. Society because it’s verbally abused on an everyday basis that same sex relations is wrong. Then on the other hand I believe that, that person shouldn’t be ashamed of who they are, just be themselves.

  29. Every life has but one guarantee, that one day, often much sooner than anyone hopes for, it will end. On this basis, each and every person has a responsibility to themselves to do whatever it is that makes them happy. If devoting your life to helping others, or to travel, or to television, or to the pursuit of monetary gains makes you happy, then that is exactly what you should be doing. As long as what makes you happy does not hurt anyone around you, it is not only your right, but your duty to proceed in that particular endeavor. If you are a gay man or woman and know that happiness is simply unattainable living a life that is not honest to yourself, quite frankly, you should come out of the closet. the happiness of any other person should not be a factor in your decision making process, as they have their own personal right to do what it is that makes themselves happy, which may be avoiding contact with homosexuals. If people that you care for desire to cut off contact with you due to your sexual preference that is their right, and you should be able to realize that it is ultimately a decision that will better you. i for one believe that homosexuality is a personal choice, and find no problem with it. It was looked down upon for centuries because it was counter-intuitive to evolution, as homosexuals are unable to reproduce and therefore unable to further the species, but with the human population literally at a growth rate mirroring that of viruses that kill themselves through overpopulation and depletion of resources, I don’t think we have to worry about that any time soon. If everyone took a few moments each day for self reflection and gained simple insights into what that actually wanted, and not what society tells them they should want, I think the world would be a much happier place.

  30. Wow. There is a lot of feedback on this topic. If I had the chance to go back in time I would make homosecuality part of the norm in our society. I am so sick of the uneccessary rejection to gay people. I am straight, but I am around gay people a lot! Gay people are very common in the sport I participate in. What I don’t unerstand is why people don’t except them. I just cannot comprehend what would make someone no appreciate people who have different views on things. I just wish gay marriage was always around, so gays can stop living in secrecy and enjoy life. Who is to say you are a better person, or you are right, for being straight? America is a place for freedom and your choice to do what you please. If marrying the same sex is your desire, then go for it. Some of the sweetest people I know are gay. In fact, my biggest role model is gay. I look up to him because he is gay and stands up for what he believes. The choices he makes other than his sex preference are so admirable. Now, if I was against gay people I would be missing out on a wonderful person to look up to.
    It’s society’s fault for why homosexuality is up for question. There is such a negative appeal to it that people are afraid to feel how they do. It does cause them to live a lie if they aren’t strong enough emotionally to let people know. For those of you who oppose gay people..what would you do if your son/daughter grew up to be gay? Disown them? If so…you need a reality check.

  31. I completely agree with you on this article. In today’s society, people are so judgmental of one another and if something is not the way that they expect it to be, it is frowned upon. Too many people in the world ridicule someone for being gay, but that is not a choice that they can make. If your gay, your gay. So what? Everyone is entitled to love whoever they want and it shouldn’t matter who that person is as long as they make each other happy. Love is love no matter who it is with and I feel that our world should start becoming a little more accepting of this because it’s not going to change no matter how bad some may want it to.

  32. I agree with Nick, in that people too frequently ignore their freedom of choice, and the freedom of others to choose. Is it so difficult for society to take a step back and realize that morale is down? Our country is the place where the “American Dream” began. It is also a place that people from around the globe believe allows it’s citizens to live life as they may, a concept that is nonexistent in many places around the world. Unbeknownst to these dreamers, we live in a place where personal choice is criticized and subdued if it is not deemed socially acceptable. Sure you may be able to live as you so choose, but not without the impeding voice of the government/peers/media telling you when you’ve taken things too far. This leaves many people feeling ridiculed and embarrassed about the life choices they make, and how others interpret them. So instead of living in a place where people are happy and accepting of those around them, we feel it is tolerable to judge others.

  33. I feel like many gays are afraid to come out because they afraid that they will not be accepted. Within our society today many people have the norm of thinking that gays are bad and belong in hell. The way that others are unable to accept others for who they are is not always just ignorance it has to do what people were raised with being taught was right and wrong. One of my friends that I have known since we were little was gay but he choose to hide it. Then when we were in high school he decided to finally come out and tell his friends and family who he really was. Sadly many of his guy friends choose to no longer be his friend because he was gay. The fact that just because a person is gay automatically changes the way you look at someone is just wrong. We as a society need to be more accepting of others no matter if they are gay, straight, or bi. The only thing that matters is that in the end we are all human beings. No one being is better then the other, I think we need to be reminded of that fact more often.

  34. Personal identity is essential to living a happy life. Acceptance by society of one’s own identity is unfortunately necessary for most of us. The fact that many members of our society are forced to conceal who they are is terribly sad and serves as a very poor reflection of our intelligence as a whole. What I cannot understand is the polar opposite of this issue. I understand that the homosexual community wants to encourage their membership to be proud and open with who they are. There is however, an extent to mine and most others interest in another person’s sexual preference. At times, so much emphasis is placed on one’s openness about their sexual identity that we stop seeing them for the person they are inside, but instead start to view them as a billboard. I am truly happy for those who can finally be open about who they are, but I also truly have no interest in knowing your sexual orientation.

  35. I do believe that it is society to blame because I don’t think Gay people would be so scared to come out if we didn’t have all these stereotypes and negative thoughts towards gay people. I believe this is the reason why people are afraid to come out because not a lot of people accept this kind of lifestyle. i personally think that they’re still people and they should be treated just as equal as anyone else, what they want to do with their lifestyle is their own business

  36. I think coming out would be a very hard thing to do. Probably one of the hardest things someone can go through in life. Society has a huge impact on the decision to come out or not. A lot of people view being gay as something negative. This is only because being gay is different, a lot of people do not like different. They live their routine lives and they are happy with that. But is being different worth living a secret or an unhappy life? If someone who is gay lets negative opinions effect who they are then it’s their own fault.
    Gay, straight or bisexual, you are still you and nobody can change that. Don’t get me wrong I am not taking the blame off of society at all, it’s just the ultimate decision of the homosexual. There is a huge world out there, we are just people who get to choose how we live in it.

  37. I could nto agree more with the article. From a first hand experience with a member of my family being gay, members of the family still do not associate with him or his partner after 20 years! Obviously as a society things have changed over the past 100 years but not completely. The racist movement took a while to get past and still today prejudices are going on. Only time will tell when peopel fully understand that homosexuality is something that you are born with!

    1. Even though sexuality is something people are born with, so are race and gender, two other factors in discrimination. Society has come a long way in accepting and tolerating homosexuality. If there was no acceptance or tolerance, homosexuality wouldn’t appear in television shows, nor would people feel safe coming out. As things progress and society becomes more open minded, things will improve.

  38. I don’t think we can put blame on any one person or group. It can be the parents faults for not being open to gays or lesbians. It can be that a certain religion doesn’t see that being homosexual is good but it is evil. The own person who is gay can be to blame. Maybe they don’t want to come out or they don’t have the courage no matter what others may say or think. The government can be at fault because they haven’t legalized gay marriage in most states. There will always be someone or some group to blame for the way we think and feel towards homosexuality. Ultimately in the end it is up to the individual person if they want to come out or not.

  39. I think society is to blame. Many gay and lesbian people are afraid to come out because of what the society is going to say about them. If society did not put out such an ideal picture of the perfect couple is between a man and woman, then I don’t think people would judge others so harshly for being gay. My cousin’s cousin is gay and when he came out to his parents they actually cried and kicked him out of their home and the family refuses to talk to us because they are embarrassed of their son, which makes their son feel he does not belong and has to be embarrassed for who he is when he shouldn’t be embarrassed. I think society is to blame for telling people what is good and bad and who we should love. One should be able to choose whom to love and it should not matter man or woman as long as your in love and living your own life and we should not judge others for it since it is not our life.

  40. One of my best friends is gay and when he finally plucked up the courage to tell me (and I was one of the first to know, before even his parents) he said he had known for a while but did not know what to do or how to come out. I feel that society puts labels on and ingrains into our minds what love and marriage should be and it is hard to change our views once they are in that mindset for so long. Religion seems to be the biggest factor with this topic but I feel that it is wrong for someone to not allow another person who is in love to be open and happy about that love and get married simply because it is not the love they imagine or believe (religiously) is okay. Religion should not be pushed on others and I am certain that if anyone who was opposed to homosexuality because of religious beliefs would be annoyed or angry with someone who tried to tell them they were wrong for being heterosexual and that some religious belief said so.

  41. I agree with this blog. Coming out is the most difficult thing to do for a gay or lesbian. A person’s lifestyle is their own choice and people should not be hated upon or the love you have for that person should not change.

    I have a friend that is gay and she told only came out in her senior year of high school. When she finally did her mother refused to speak to her for 6 months. I believe that it is not the individual to blame, rather the society we live in. They are fearful of those labeling theories and stigmatization from others within society. Many gay and lesbian people are afraid to come out because of what the society is going to say about them.

  42. Coming out is a very controversial topic in our society, which is kind of sad. People should be able to do what they want to do in life without the worry of what other people are going to think. Who cares if someone is gay? They are still people, and still deserve the same amount of respect. It is not fair that people should be treated badly just because they are different. If everyone believed in the same things, and lived the same life style, this world would be such a boring place! People should realize that not everyone is the same, and be respectful and accepting of other people’s feelings and beliefs!

  43. To some degree I agree with what you say, but rather why look for someone or something to blame for the situation. although I agree that coming out for a homosexual person it can be a emotional roller coaster as you said, and the stories of other other people coming out and receiving the short end of the stick would instill that fear of the what if in the mind ultimately the person who decided to stay silent was the individual experiencing those fears. I won’t say that the stigma is the a factor, but a person doesn’t do anything that he or she doesn’t want to do unless by force or the threatening of life. Often times people forget that not everyone want to live a open life where everyone around me would know all about my life. everyone have things that they want to hide and who are we to judge anyone on that. like a metaphor would be something along the lines of let the ones who are truly clean of everything be the one to judge the unclean and who would be able to? I can speak for myself and say I do not fall in the category of being “clean”. And I’m pretty sure that many if not all of human race would fall under the same category. No one is perfect and if that person exists then i believe him or her to be the so called “God” every religion claims to believe in. I don’t mean to look down on any religion, but I’m just speaking in the point of view of myself who do not believe in a higher power.

  44. I think the topic of homosexuality has dramatically changed within the past decades. I think your sexuality is something you’re born with and can’t help. Just like a straight man likes a women and can’t help it, I feel it is the same way with homosexuals. I believe they shouldn’t have to live their life as a lie, and I can’t even imagine how much it takes to be able to come out to their families, friends, etc. I think this topic has already been more accepting and will only get better from here. As long as that person is happy being with their partner, it shouldn’t matter who it is.

    1. That seems a little off. Coming out and telling people this kind of stuff is really hard. It is about being happy with yourself. If your heart tells you to like the same sex, then your heart is telling you that for a good reason. It means that you will naturally fit better with someone of the same sex. Besides all of that, coming out is really hard. A good thing to remember would be to try and ignore what others think. It’s what you think, not others.

    2. I agree with Kristen that sexuality is something we are born with. Even though people are becoming more accepting of homosexuality, there will still be prejudice against it. As of now, there may be more tolerance than acceptance, though that may change in time.

  45. I believe that society is mostly to blame. Society has stuck a label on what is “normal” and what is not. Therefore, if one does not conform to what society considers as normal, they are bound to be ridiculed and scrutinized, no matter what it involves. Along with these stereotypes of how one should act or behave, its almost as if there are a set of un-written rules of how society should treat the individuals that don’t “conform”. I will say though, that there might be other factors, such as religion, or personal beliefs, but i just feel that society as a whole should take most of the blame.

    1. I agree! Even though religion and personal beliefs are strong voices in this social issue it shouldn’t be the only thing we are hearing. I think while everyone has a right to their opinion, it doesn’t mean it needs to be vocalized as it has currently and previously. At the end of the day, everyone wants to live a happy and carefree life, the means to achieve that feeling is just different for each person.

    2. I expect that eventually, society will have a “normal” way to come out. There is no proper way to come out, though there are appropriate times and places. Coming out at a funeral would be against the norms of society, even after homosexuality is more of the norm and less discriminated against. Conforming to society is only acceptable up to a point, even if its conforming to a subculture, such as the homosexual community.

  46. My older brother is 24 years old. He has recently come out to me that he is gay. I could not have been happier. I was so glad that he finally told me so I could show him and tell him how much it did not bother me in the slightest bit. I feel like when he found out how supportive of his lifestyle I am, and not just me the rest of my family as well, I think that was a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. The only reason why I would ever wish/want my brother or anyone for that matter not to be homosexual is the fact that so many people in society do not agree with it. Society is definitely to blame. Weather people like it or not there is always going to someone that does not agree with your views on life, decisions you make, or your beliefs. It’s the way life is.

    1. I fully agree. People should not have to be afraid to come out to those they care about. Why does society care if we date same or different sex? Our private lives should be allowed to be private, especially when it comes to those we love and want to be with. I understand that people are worried about being accepted, but since the important people to come out to are family, they should love the person anyways and accept them.

      1. I’m glad were on our on the same page. I do have to say that if people want to come out to there families, they have to make sure that its safe. I don’t mean they should make sure its safe in terms of violence. I mean safe as in getting kicked out of your house, being provided for financially ect. If your family is very conservative these are some of the things that might happen. We have to remember that the older generation is not as tolerant as the younger generation.

    2. I think that your approach toward your brother’s situation was ideal in helping him relieve any anxiety about his choice. I wish more people were able to express this acceptance because the world would be much better off that way. I know there are people who do not feel that homosexuality is right, but even if you don’t agree with the lifestyle, just knowing that your acceptance of the person’s choice is making someone else’s life a whole lot easier should be enough to persuade you to be a better person in that regard. Overall, I believe that making somebody else happy is the best way to do the same for yourself.

  47. For some reason all of my friends I have had/have are gay or lesbians. Mostly my best friends. It has become easier for me to relate to gay guys especially because we are both attracted to the same type of people. I love gay men! This is not a stereotype at all, it is the way I view my friends and they, too, love the fact that I am the type of person who doesn’t mind who they are attracted to. But honestly it kind of weird that all of my best friends I have had or have now are gay/lesbians, and all of them have came out to me first. I have questioned if people have thought I was a lesbian because everyone always comes out to me first… but then I realized I am just a friendly/secretive/truthful person. My current best friend told me he was gay about a month ago and I ALWAYS knew he was gay since I met him four years ago. He will never come out to his family though because they are Nazi’s (figuratively), but really his parents are insane! I don’t know if he will ever come out to anyone as long as his parents are alive, I am still the only person he has truthfully told, which is stupid. Yes, I am his best friend, but how is someone suppose to find a lover without telling them they are attracted to someone of the same sex? If I were a lesbian, I would tell people because it is my life and my sexuality and no one can take that privilege away from me. What I have to say is, come out now if you truly want to, if your parents kick you out you are more than welcome to stay with me because it is ridiculous that parents don’t care about their children enough to accept them for who they are.

  48. It is unfathomable to me how close minded people can be. A good friend of mine, that is a few years younger was assaulted by some kids when he was in middle school, because of how he talked, they assumed he was gay, and they felt it gave them the right to persecute him, and ostracism him for the way he talked (he had a lisp). It angers me so much to see how unaccepted people are, and how socially acceptable it is to stratify people for being themselves, and being something that they are born as.

  49. Let me start off by mentioning that I am gay, and completely agree with the original poster in that “coming out” is one of the hardest things in life that one will ever encounter. There are many societal pressures that exist in our world, but what one chooses to do with them is the main objective in shaping one’s self-identity. The act of “coming out” is starting to become more and more normal nowadays which is what we as gay people have been aiming for, for quite some time. When actually thinking about if I ever wanted to come out, and to whom I wanted to come out to, I came to realize that to be a gay individual means that you have to accept who you are, regardless of what society thinks of you. Going with this realization, it can be said that I have become a stronger person in my beliefs, not caring what anyone thinks because the only thing that matters is my happiness. If all of the people who feel as if they are forced to stay in the closet, come to the same realization, they will see that the only thing that matters is what you think about yourself and who you believe you are.

  50. I do agree with the above blog, for gay/lesbian people it is one of the hardest things to do in life, no matter what age a person is or where we are in society. I have society to blame for not thoroughly knowing what it is meant to be gay/lesbian. We are in a society now where it has become easier to come out but not in all cases. What people need to know is that a person doesn’t wake up one day and b say “I’m going to be gay starting today”, it is something that a person is born with and I blame society for not understanding or accepting that fact. It is already hard for that individual to come out to friends and family for fear they will be treated differently or shunned, so why must society make it harder on them. I personally don’t see anything wrong with same sex couples, doesn’t affect my life or anyone else’s so why make it a big deal if they come out? We should feel safe and comfortable enough in scoeity to express ourselves and identify ourself the way we feel is right, it’s not contagious so why make it sound like it is.

  51. Most of what you stated is 100% true, but on the other hand some of what you say can also be seen as a excuse. I’m not gay, but I do have family and friends that are. I haven’t once thought about judging, nor looking at them any different because we all are going to be judge whether we like it or not. None of them ever stated or gave off a vibe that they were afraid of “coming out”. In today’s society you’re going to be talked about if you’re pretty, ugly, skinny, fat, black, white, gay or straight. Which is why I believe individuals don’t truly don’t want to “come out” for personal reasons.

  52. I fully support homosexuality as a viable sexual preference and I do acknowledge the social pressure homosexuals face, which I believe is becoming less negative. While the pressure that someone considering coming out might face may be intimidating, ultimately they are the ones responsible for their life. Facing the rejection of friends and family is not something that most people want to have happen, but it may be the only option in comparison to a life unfulfilled. Blame does not need to be placed, but if a homosexual does not come out and is unhappy about their life because of it, it is their fault and no one else’s. There are countless other characteristics of a person that society discriminates against, homosexuals are not alone in this predicament, but in the end the only person responsible for your actions is you.

  53. Regarding the two questions mentioned in the blog, I definitely feel that the primary blame for these forced lies regarding one’s identity is society. Even I will admit that I feel restricted in my actions just because of certain societal standards layed out today. There are many people that feel split between showing their true colors and conforming to what society feels is acceptable. This must cause so much internal stress that I personally do not know what I would do in a situation like this. This just goes to show how difficult it is to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, given that everyone has their own identity already set in stone.

  54. This has always been a very sensitive issue to me. One of my very best friends is gay, and when he decided to come out, he was welcomed with open arms by his family. And I think he was able to come out so easily because of what a supportive family he had. This is one of the good stories of someone coming out, amongst so many bad ones. My father is very catholic and a far right winged republican, I am not. And when I told him about the courage that my friend had to come out, I was appalled by his response, which was that my friend was going to hell. I am not gay, but when I heard him say that it scared me, because what if I had been? For a brief moment I felt how terrified these people must be, and how awful it is for them to live their lives without support. I felt that feeling for a moment, I cannot imagine feeling it constantly for my whole life.

  55. Coming out to me is something that would be extremely hard, I am a bisexual Hispanic. What I blame is the past generations, as well as culture, and society. My parents grew up in a ranch in mexico where people were/ are very narrow minded and extremely religions. If i ever came out to my parents they would probably think that I am some sort of slut. This is why only friends and two of my brothers know about my sexuality. Society is also to blame because of the supposed norm to be heterosexual, and culture because it was my parent’s culture that made them the way that they are.

  56. I believe that society has a large influence in people coming out or not, however, the person also has to blame too. Society can be so judgmental towards gays and have yet to accept the idea. People don’t want to come out when all they are going to receive is people judging them left and right. I think it takes a very strong minded person to come out because it takes your personal life public. These strong people receive so much criticism more than I can imagine. This can be the person’s own fault if they just aren’t comfortable with the idea of coming out then they have to blame for the way they live with this kind of secret. It is a risk but for those who can do it more power to them!

  57. I think that the biggest obstacle in someone coming out of the closet is their family. Not to say that society does not play a large role in it. But you are stuck with your family for the rest of your life and if they do not accept you it can be a very hard thing. My cousin is gay and when he came out he said it was the hardest thing he had ever done. Although it wasn’t a shock to any of us, as his family it was nice to know that he felt like he could tell us. He works in a hair salon styling and coloring hair, and is very good at it. I think the fashion empire is much more accepting of him than the rest of society. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by all the hate as much as he was when he first came out. It’s just a shame that he was forced to be so callused to the majority of society.

  58. You are absolutly correct coming out announcing that you are gay is the hard thing to do expectually when the world is judging you for everything you do. But on the other hand in today’s society there are a lot of accepting people, so coming out and saying that you are gay, bisexual or anything in that nature people are more willing. And also there are a lot of curious questions about what would make a person gay not rude question but just wanting to know the back story or atleast the real story to the facts. You do have a point when it come downs to the family memebers they are some times harder to accept the fact that you are gay, they do try to understand what happened.

    1. I agree that it would be hard to come out either way. Do you think it would be harder to come out with family, friends, or to society? I would like to think that society has become more accepting over the last decade or even over the last few years. Especially after the NBA player came out and told the world. For him what do you think would be hardest as a professional athlete? Telling his family or everyone else?

  59. I think that society, family and the individual all contribute to the difficulties people face when “coming out. I think the families beliefs and support has a lot of influence over it. If the person intending to come out has been raised in a home where they know they won’t be judged and where they know they will always be loved and supported, obviously it will make it much easier to tell them. I think that the person will get the courage to come out from his or her family. If they know they have their family to fall back on, it will also make it that much easier to come out to the rest of the world. I also think that different environments make for circumstances that some may clarify as “easier” or “harder”. For example, my hometown has a HUGE stereotype of being the “Christian town”. You can see how a lot of the gay or bisexual community would have difficulty coming out in an environment such as this, where they know they will be judged and where they know religion will be brought into the situation in an unwanted manner. So I believe that it is a combination of society, family and the individual that contribute to the hardships people face while “coming out”.

  60. In my opinion, the blame falls on society. We live in a society that is much apposed to change when it comes to discrimination. Think about how long it took to change the way our society views African Americans. Although the times have changed, to this day racism still exists. However I would say it is the responsibility of the gays to have the strength to overcome the oppression against them. None the less, the oppression should not be excused. The fear of acceptance and the hate that they face is unreal. I do not believe a person should face this type of discrimination and fear for simply being who they are. The gays should take zero blame for being untruthful in their sexuality.

  61. In all honesty, coming out of the closet should not be as difficult as society makes it out to be. When someone tells their friends, or their parents, or their siblings that they are homosexual, there should not be any tension. It’s not as though the person has changed, or anything like that. They are the same person, with the same personality. The only reason why homosexuality has been looked down upon so frequently in present times is the fact that society has attempted to establish a concrete view on morals. Society is trying to persuade everyone into accepting more and more things as norms. It has become so widespread that it can easily be what Mills, (1959), would call an issue, as apposed to a personal trouble. This is something that society needs to pass over, not so much the individual. This is the social location for this change, because there has never, to this day, been such a massive up-rising for the equal opportunities of homosexual individuals. More and more states are legalizing marriage for homosexuals now days, and this is spreading the moral for people fighting for equal rights. It is society that need to come out of the closet, not the people.

  62. Danie,
    I think that it is perfectly wonderful that you are so open about wanting to accept your son for exactly who he is no matter his sexual orientation. However, not only in your case, but In many many others, I don’t particularly understand how your son’s sexual orientation “hurts you”, as you said he is someone you cherish and want to except 100% for exactly who he is. I think that, seeing that we are in the 21st century you and many others should try and see this from a different perspective and realize that times are changing and the classic ideas of family and future babies are all changing and being adjusted. For all you know this adjustment in the idea of family could be better than your already perfect image of family.

  63. I COMPLETLEY AGREE. Everyone always talks about how hard it is to “let their families down” and the negative backlash they face after coming out but I say to hell with that. Just as you said it should not be a life altering thing and a major issue within society. I think the only person who it should be a life altering thing for is the person coming out, but its really nobody else’s place to judge his or her sexual orientation. We are supposed to be moving towards the idea of being equal with each generation and I would hate to see this continue to hold society back from that idea.

  64. Lindsay P,
    I totally agree with your response to the post. I think that society places these unfair expectations about sexuality and how everyone is supposed to adhere to the stereotypical depiction of what love looks like. Although, I don’t agree that it is 100% on the gays to become accepted and rise above society to become accepted. I think that it needs to come from society as a whole and we need to start accepting everyone for who they are. the further and further we move away from discrimination the better our society will be.

  65. I believe that this is a very sensitive subject to begin with. Not only to the individual, but to the societal issues as well. I do believe that society creates unfair expectations and stereotypes on gays which makes it much harder for them to come out. Coming out in my eyes comes with a lot of respect and gratitude for that person. I believe that society is mostly to blame for an individual not coming out or being scared to, but not fully. That person too needs to take action to set their own happiness and not worry about society. They should find people to surround them with love and support and it will never matter from then on out what society thinks.

  66. I agree with this response. I do believe gay is the black. Meaning there are openly treating gays unfairly and the world closes its eyes to the problem. Humans are all born with individuality. So why judge or prosecute a person because there different.

  67. Understanding the struggle of “coming out of the closet” is hard, especially when you have absolutely no idea what these individuals are going through. I recently had a conversation with my uncle (who is a proud homosexual) and he had told me the problem he was having finding a job after being laid off. He had applied to place after place, and not getting any calls back, he had decided to deactivate his facebook account. He thought maybe the reason he wasn’t finding a job was because he is openly gay on facebook. AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW? Not too long after he deactivated his facebook, he was offered a job. He explained to me that he does not feel like he belongs because nobody he works with knows who he truly is. He keeps the fact that he likes men a secret, afraid of being judged. It breaks my heart to know that he feels like he cannot be who he truly is around the people he sees and works with on a daily basis. I’m sure his situation is not uncommon, but I feel as if he should open up and tell his coworkers who he is, and if they do not like it, then who honestly cares? Our society today is so judgmental and there needs to be a change.

    1. I agree that what your uncle is going through is awful, no one should be denied job offers because of facebook, that is just wrong! But really what difference will it make if he tells his coworkers he is gay, that will just make for an awkward conversation for everyone involved because most people just don’t care. As long as he can act like himself does it matter if he is gay or not? I feel as though telling someone who isn’t important to you is just asking for judgment and if the door is open the hate will come through.

  68. I can’t say I know the difficulties in terms of being gay and coming out, however I do understand that it is a struggle. But this article really did leave me thinking… I never looked at this way. Really, who do we blame, society, the person, or a little bit of both? I most certainly blame society. It is not the person’s fault for not being honest. The way society presents itself in terms of homosexuality would certainly make it difficult for anybody to come out. In my religion, it is frowned upon to be homosexual. It is absolutely forbidden to the point where some parents will never accept their child’s sexuality. I know there are other religions that are the same way. But I feel like sexuality isn’t something that people can control. A person’s sexuality is a part of who they are. Disregarding religion, today our society is so critical in terms of people’s identity, especially their sexuality. There definitely needs to be a change.

    1. I completely agree with your viewpoint on this subject. I think that people cannot control their sexuality and should not be condemned for it. I know there are mant religions that are against this as welk, but I feel that even if your religion says that, you have no right to judge another person and to consider yourself better than them.

  69. I feel like coming out of the closet is more acceptable in society than it was in the past. We see it a lot more now and even have celebrations for it like the gay pride parade and etc. Coming out to your family is different depending on how understanding your parents are. You are not to blame and shouldn’t feel like you are to blame. We all face challenges in life, but also have to embrace who we really are. With the support of loved ones and friends, coming out becomes an easier journey.

    1. I agree with your comment. I feel that in the present day coming out as gay has become more acceptable; however, I feel that with more people accepting it and publicizing their views, it provides more opportunities for those that are strongly against gays to voice their negative opinions. I agree that you have to embrace who you are and in my opinion, people are going to have relationships and love those that make them happy and who are we to deny them that right.

      1. I do agree with you that being gay is much more socially acceptable. However, I think that sexual preference shouldn’t be a person’s identity. That is not to say that I think that gay people should keep it to themselves but I think they shouldn’t be broadcasting it. Somebody’s sexual life has nothing to do with me and therefore I don’t think it should be as big of a deal for people to come out.

  70. I agree that they (gay people) should not be broadcasting their sexual preferences, but I feel that way about ANY sexual orientation. I feel that what they do is none of my business and that what I do with my personal life is no one else’s business either, so there is no reason for anyone to be looked down upon and degraded. The reason why it seems like it is such a big deal for people to “come out” is because being gay is still given a negative image, unlike being straight.

    1. That is very true, and a big reason for that is religion. The Bible tells Christians to love everybody and it is not our place to judge them, yet there are big parts of the church that spew hate and condemnation on these people. It is these group that give other Christians a bad name and perpetuate the judgement of others.

      1. I agree that there are a certain number of people that give Christians, in general, a bad name because of their negative views. Most people who react in this manner have never really been around anyone “out of the ordinary” for their normal lives and cannot find ways to positively express their emotions. I feel that as the newer generations get older, and the older ones start to pass away (sad to put it like that), the easier it will be for gays to come out. Newer generations seem to be more open to change and breaking old norms.

  71. Sadly I don’t see the christian groups going away though because the religion isn’t going to die. So I don’t think there will be full acceptance, but hopefully we can get close. We are seeing the things that younger generations accept being enacted like legalization of marijuana and gay marriage.

  72. It is now 2016. There is more acceptance for gay people than when this blog was written. More people on youtube have the courage to tell hundreds or even a million followers that they are gay. Even more celebrities are coming out now than ever before. I know there are several people that aren’t accepting, but you can’t get everyone to be accepting. Personally I’m not gay, but from what I see in everyday life and media it keeps improving.

  73. As a religious person, I’m gonna say something unexpected. I firmly do not believe that anyone is going to hell for the sole reason of being gay. God/Jesus may say that marriage is between man and women and therefore being gay is a sin, but they also say that saying “oh my God” is a sin, that lying is a sin, that tattoos are a sin. Jesus died for all sins, not just the people who swear, or just the murderers, or just the “gays”. You’re not going to go to hell for sinning…otherwise we’re all screwed.

  74. People absolutely hate when I say this. But I believe being gay is a choice. And so is being straight, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, you name it. Every day I wake up and choose to date my boyfriend. I am a woman who likes men, and I choose to. And whatever anybody chooses to be, that is okay. I see absolutely no issue with someone’s sexuality. I accept people for who they are, and their choice between tacos and hot dogs does not change who they are as a human being.

  75. Being gay, lesbian, transsexual, or bisexual in my book doesn’t make you any less of a person. I give major props to those who do come out to their families. It takes a lot of courage because you don’t know how your family, friends, relatives, or society is going to react. I’m a strong believer in pro-choice and by that I mean everyone has the right to live their life any way that they seem fit! We may not all “support” it, but we do need to come to acceptance that the world is a changing place, and we all have the right to be happy. I’m not a mother, so I can’t really explain how I’d feel about my son/daughter liking the same sex, but I do have family members that have came out, and I never looked at them differently because I am no one to judge. We are all different, we all deserve to be happy whether it be with a man or a woman, no one should ever feel scared to be who they wanna be. People who care about you will soon come around and be in your life if they want to.

  76. I myself am not gay but I can’t even imagine what it may feel like to have to come out to my own parents. I love my parents but they aren’t the most excepting when it comes to sexuality, I had recently gotten a nose piercing and my father flipped out and called me gay because it wan’t normal for guys to get nose piercing. So I can only imagine how harsh it would be to have to come out. You are a brave soul if you have come out to your family, an you have my respect.

  77. I think since this article has been written, a lot has changed in regards to gay rights. First off, we are able to marry, and media has become more accepting of the LGBT community. Personally, I haven’t yet come out to my parents, but I don’t think that’s society’s fault, its a lot more personal than that, whether its family relations, or self confidence. I think these factors have a lot more impact when it comes to coming out than from society’s influence

  78. I think that who we are surrounded by as we grow up are to blame for how we feel about someone coming out. As a child, I remember everyone accepting everyone for the first few years of life. However, as I got older, people began to bully others judge them for things they did not used to judge them for such as skin color or sexual orientation. My mother always tells me that black people are dangerous and she has been telling me this for most of my life. I’ve met a lot of black people and they’re pretty freakin’ awesome but I can understand why she thinks the way she does. When she first came to the United States, she was walking to her apartment one day and a black man stole her purse. She couldn’t speak English very well and she didn’t have any other way of getting into her and my dad’s apartment until my dad got off work which was typically late in the evening. She told me about this when I was very young and I got scared too because she spoke so negatively.

  79. I am someone who has been confused the majority of my life in the type of person I should date but, in my case I don’t come out as bisexual because of fear. I am scared that when I go out with someone of the same sex we will be harassed or chased down the block. Things have gotten so bad that I can’t tell my mom about it or the majority of my family because of the fact they are strict Catholics, and believe it is disgusting and a sickness. Not only is coming out a problem for people that don’t think it’s okay to be gay but some people act out on their rage, of course not everyone does, but for example in Orlando the gay club that had a massive shooting massacre. I personally will not come out to my family or people in public because even now when people assume I am not straight they harass me I can’t imagine if they knew for sure. If the world was a better place with more acceptance maybe, but even at school I felt harassed by some guy I didn’t even know he called me a fucking queer, and him and his friend laughed about it. I wanted so badly to just punch the guy in the face but did not want to get into trouble, but it’s just that people like that guy make me uncomfortable to even admit to myself that I am what I am.

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